Walking while dead
I am a jumbo shrimp
or nameless celebrity
hiding pain
in plain view
My broken heart
a secret only
to the one
who matters most
Virtually real and
quietly screaming
I exist,
but I have stopped living
Author notes
prompt: open secret
A contest entry
- PIF 10/40 by Laura Lamarca.
400 points, ended October 24, 2007, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Many great examples of oxymoron.
Great poem in general.
I like the internal rhyme..
"hiding pain
in plain view"
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Liz, As always your pen shined with brilliance. A fantastic take on this prompt and your elegant verbiage netted you a bronze trophy that I congratulate you for wholeheartedly. Never am I disappointed when I gaze upon your works and I say kudos to you many times over as your collection of trophies continues to grow so rapidly. Thank you for always sharing the beauty of your gift with us and keep that ink flowing sis. Love and hugs from your sis, Joyce
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I liked this a lot, the oxymorons put to great use here to describe hidden pain and the contradictions between outward and inward selves... great take on the prompt. Congratulations on the bronze!
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So very well done here. Thank you for entering and good luck in the judging. La x
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