I'll never be the same, breaking decency,
I've been humming too many words,
got a weak self esteem,
well, I will not let it be,
judging from the way that I see,
it won't bring me down, it won't,
having effect on me, pass undetectedly,
but everyone knows what has got me,
takes me completely,
but if only I could pull you in for a moment..
I know this pain that's so sweet
well, I know what you're like -
I've read it on the walls,
you're too tired,
you choose heaven over the earth and me,
ahh, didn't I tell you, what I believe,
didn't somebody say that love like ours won't last,
you should know (by now) really,
that this could end,
really, you should know,
I could never make it work,
speak up - you know what went on,
how could you let it go?
It's murder you covered up,
all that's left is the will to die,
try to hold on what's left inside,
empty, (and this emptiness i'm left with)
I know where you are now,
you twist everything else around,
you f**k with me...waste....my time,
breaking us down,
that way I'll always stay away from you.
Author notes
This Poem Consist Of Lines From My Favorite Deftones Songs....( 7 Words, Some People, Sweetest Perfection, I'll Throw Rocks At You, Good Morning Beautiful, No Ordinary Love, Beware The Water, Pain, Will To Die, Rapture, And Mein.) This Poem Is About An Ex.
Option 1
A contest entry
- Show your worth by Whispered Secrets.
400 points, ended November 20, 2007, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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It's good to see that some people are still hanging on
nice write i liked the passion u put into it. keep up the good work. -
you did a very good job with this poem! i happen to also like the deftones! good job! thank you for entering and good luck!
NineTailedFox -
very nice. though I rather you have your own lines and not someone else's, it works well. next time pick each word on your own, it may be even better. it is a good poem. I know what your saying even though I have no way of understanding. never had an ex.... unless you count mothers. at least 2 ex-mothers.
. keep up the good work.
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Great work on this poem, and tying everything in together. Thanks for entering it into my contest - and good luck!
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Hey,
Very nice. It was creative and holds a lot of emotion. I liked that you took a concept that lots of people write about, but you made it your own. Good job.
Thanks for entering my contest, and best of luck!
[x] -
I don't really listen to the deftones, but I love this poem. I was a little distracted by all the rhyming at first, but you broke away and sunk your claws in deeper. Good Job!
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Very creative, I find the deftones inspirational as well..."Rapture" is my favorite song.
you choose heaven over the earth and me
Best line.
Thanks for entering.
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I think it was creative and very nicely done. Kewl idea for a poem....nice.
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Pretty good, are all the line exact, or are they intagrated into this with orignal stuff ?
Once wrote a thing like this before for a friend, using all the song titles by a band to write a semi-story poem.
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very creative work here. well done. you had a very good idea here. good job here hun
~*~Angel~*~ -
WOW, this is really creative!
I like the poem as well as the idea.
It must have taken you a while to pick through the songs and find the line's that apply.
Two thumbs up! Great job, I love it!
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this was a great poem. The I's even if they are in the middle of a sentence get captilized. This was very good, keep up the good work.
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I sense a lot of pent-up anger here 'n I'm glad that you have chosen to release it thru words. I love the way you expressed yourself 'n surprising my fav. line was: You F**k With Me,...Waste...My Time
That must've taken a lot of your emotion...
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you have a lot of emotion in this, and i can appreciate that. if i could suggest something, i'd say it may be best to not capitalize every word as that made it a bit difficult to read. but still, thank you for sharing this. dusty
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I love the Deftones and your ex sounds a lot like mine.
So, needless to say, my comment may be a little biased...lol
The way you pieced the lyrics together was very artfully done, however, I think it would be easier read with less commas (You can always use more lines, we don't mind...lol) and a different font color.
Other than the fact that my eyes are bleeding(lol), I really liked this
Beautiful work! -
great job!! Very good poem!! the best that I have read all day!!! keep up the great work!!! looking forward to reading more!
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