I can't escape The Hurting
It feels like I am flirting
On the edge of a Mad World
Trying to destroy this little girl
It's the Start Of The Breakdown for me
I wish everyone could see
My Pale Shelter's getting paler
I feel like a failure
Everyone wants me to Change
They like to Watch Me Bleed, so strange
These Tears For Fears are falling fast
How long will this nightmare last
"For all this warmth, I feel so cold
For one so young, I feel so old"
Who really wants to rule the world? Not me.
Author notes
The quote was from "Watch Me Bleed" by Tears For Fears
A contest entry
- 15 lines or less... by xTomorrowx.
450 points, ended October 26, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Your rhyming is a tad weak, and some of them even I think are a bit forced to go with what you're writing about. But, that's just an observation on my part.
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I like this poem very much, I really enjoyed reading it, I really liked a number of the lines, I won't write all the ones I liked, but quite a few stood out to me and seemed to make the poem just that much better, I really liked it =)
thanks heaps for entering and good luck! =)
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