The ghost of you haunts me.
Memories coming back
rushing through my head,
like the wind rustling through the trees
The relationship we once
had brings back feelings dead and buried.
Why must you make me remember,
when all I want to do is forget?
Forget about you, your face, your voice
and how you could make me feel!
But your ghost insists on staying,
in my life, haunting me.
Good times play as well as bad.
I don't want to see any of them.
You were my lighthouse,
keeping me in the right direction.
Never letting me lose my way.
Then why, that day, did you leave me?
You promised you never would!
You took my soul with you!
I walk around now, like a zombie.
Not living anymore, just existing.
You won't leave me alone
and all I do is think of you.
If you insist on staying,
then would you do me a favor?
End my mortal suffering,
brought to me by your selfish hands.
Let me come retrieve my soul
that's trapped in that strange world with you.
If you want me,
why won't you set me free?
Your ghost refuses to leave me.
I asked you to release me,
but instead you're driving me to the edge.
If you love me, let me go.
For if you do,
your spirit and who you are will live forever.
It is in me
that who you were will be born.
Release me from this sleep,
be not afraid.
You will never be forgotten
if you let me live.
Author notes
This is about a couple who get in an accident. He dies, she is left in a coma carrying his child.
A work in progress.
Option 3
A contest entry
- CONTEST-WARM COMFY SPOT by Jeremy0826.
600 points, ended October 23, 2007, 2 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - MY SECOND CONTEST - 3 OPTIONS - PW ALLOWED by X iMPERFECTiON x.
425 points, ended October 24, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Contest For Everyone.. Take a look (options) by TheAshtrayGirl.
550 points, ended October 27, 2007, 53 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - From Afar by kittensushi.
875 points, ended November 5, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Entertain Me by EmeraldDaze.
600 points, ended November 6, 2007, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
Interesting, I like this though I can't really put my finger on why
-
Interesting take on my contest's concept. Thank you for entering and good luck!
-
Forget about you, your face, your voice
and how you could make me feel!
But your ghost insists on staying,
in my life, haunting me.
Okay thats the original, what about something on this line::
Forget about you, your face, your voice
your little one, nestled deep
But your ghost insists on staying,
inside of me.
-
Alright, this is a really heartfelt write. I had a different interpretation of this, of a girl with a shattered heart. Maybe thats cuz I have lost someone that has devistated me. I wish I saw more of a hint toward the unborn child.
I love this stanza:
"The ghost of you haunts me.
Memories coming back
rushing through my head,
like the wind rustling through the trees"
-
:)
Wow... this is amazing!
So sad but loving
I especially like this part
''For if you do,
your spirit and who you are will live forever.
It is in me
that who you were will be born''
Great Job
Good luck in my contest
From Jaz <3
-
I felt the second to last verse could be tightened up more. Also, this seemed a bit repetitious in the "just let me go" genre, and I feel you could cut that down a bit, as well. I think the poem would be better for it.
A nice poem that you have written here.
-
If you love me, let me go.
This was sad and interesting. I actually liked it specially that line i pasted for i've got a personal made up quote on something like that.Its on my page.Great and i hope to read more from you.
...Simply Me♥ -
wow this is really sad i wrote a poem similiar to this. i like the emotion and imagry that you put into it. thanks for sharing
-
good write! i enjoyed it =] good luck in the contest!
-
This is one deep and heart tearing poem and story
I am glad that Jeremy gave you the Gold. You have done a wonderful job with it.
*tips hat*
You are a wonderful story teller.
Riftkin
-
This is very deep and sad. I'm glad that you actually went a different way with the prompt. I think you did a great job putting this together and I thank you for your entry here! Good luck to you with it in my contest!
Jeremy0826
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
