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Promise

The pale rain clouds are far away today, and may not get here anytime soon. The days pass in a sluggish waltz, tomorrow may come, or it may fade away as an unfulfilled expectation. I remember only ailments, imperfections, maladies. They entrench themselves within Elysiums in mid-formation. There's a disorder in my stomach, that could be love fluttering blind and drunk, but it floats as bare thread, and i imagine it tangles and spirals until a knot forms. There's an unforgiving difficulty in pronouncing vowels, My tongue is ill-tempered, he mumbles about burnt orchids, apple skins, curb gazing, He tastes like sewer water and ash. There's a light touch like rose petals on my shoulders, but it's snow, tumbling in droves, and i think of dying feathers, separated from their wings. I might be dreaming in my own voice, but there are no pencil smiles, I'm not dangling from a branch, high above a hidden grove. The only heart scaling yells, come from the wind, passing harmlessly through the holes in my skull. This is the hum of empty space.

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Comments


  • misticmoonlite gold member
    November 3, 2007

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    promises are so important to keep, life is indeed to short to let it slip by, keep up the good job...good luck...mm


  • wbiro gold member
    November 3, 2007

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    I recently made a distinction between 'glitz and glitter' writing and 'heart and mind' writing, I see the words 'sluggish waltz' as g&g here, unnecessary and even distracting when one is reading for heart and mind (like I do); but it is a minor infraction if your main purpose is to share heart and mind... let's see... must look up 'elysium'- section of the Greek myth's underworld, oh yes, I've run across it before... now used for paradise... don't quite see how you're employing it here, unless the ailments et al are somehow part of a paradise... didn't connect with the latter half of the piece, but I think the imae of emptiness humming through the holes in one's head will stick with me...!

  • more like war
    October 25, 2007

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    See now...this I get. This intrepid emptiness you write of. I loved THIS poem. This is what I wanted. Just pure honesty. I love it when a poet takes whatever he's thinking and just puts it out there.