~
You always give me
that look and smile.
Like nobody else,
& "I love you" for that.
The truth bruises;
Because from here
all I can see
is a pocket full
of memories.
~
Author notes
Written October 22, 2007
A contest entry
- Overnight... baggage by J.J. Sass.
300 points, ended October 24, 2007, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - BATTLE OF THE GOLDS TWO by Swan song.
1200 points, ended September 20, 2008, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
I like it when you go straightforward and raw, like this one.
Short and classy.
-
The truth bruises;
I love that line!!!! excellent poem
-
a very inspiring piece, and gold too.
Congratulations.
-
I like how you have subtly told, or at least hinted at both sides to the story. You mention the love and you have alluded to disappointment without directly speaking to it, and yet it is prominent in the reader's mind. I think the understatement works nicely here. Nice piece. Congrats on the gold!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, yes, great title, by the way! You don't get it until the end. I like that.
-
Congrats on your well deserved Gold Award...PK
-
This is one to which most of us can relate; definitely a weight to be carried.
Thanks for the entry.
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
