Once a Nothing Struggling to be a Speck

Every day is a question and a vision often freezing

As though buried in ice, clinging to whatsoever it touches.

I wipe away filth from my eyes and blurredly shift in place,

Finding no more than the soot of lies and sin like ash.

I have crawled out of a cave to discover

Nothing more than having made myself an island.

In this filth, I am floating alone,

Hissing between my teeth with no words enough to carry me.

Birds! Praise the heavens I stare toward, lifetimes away,

Birds! There must be land, must be more to this than

The stories and songs that have covered me and made me a stranger.

But wait, their path is a circle over me, I cannot argue.

My tongue is tired, and my silver has brought me nothing,

Just fatal weight making it harder to swim. 

At least I will be clean, a consolation that means nothing.

It all feels meaningless, even the sky dissembled by fear,

But I refuse to look away, I am so, so proud.

Touch me, death, be with me now, so I will not be alone,

I mean something, if only a meager snack attempting to sate an ocean,

Only still moments, only with meaning I need to believe in.

A smile creeps onto my face, only to meet tears,

So that in the last moments my hysteria will not be alone.

This smile is a messenger, hopeful news, an image to settle,

That somewhere, you are laughing, and have no idea I'm gone.