I felt partly melted, hot day downtown!
Registering to vote, last minute.
I clacked across a big empty room, papers, forms
and overhead, a huge photo mural
a brown dirt field, few green island like tufts
grass had surrendered to human tread; a line of people,
an immense serpentine coiling of humanity
across the twenty foot wall coil upon coil,
my eyes swept left to right; and down the wall
back and forth, back and forth down to the most
bored expression I could imagine beneath a blonde wig
"can I help you?", "go fill out these, that's it"
I turned, another potential voter stepped forward
broke the empty silence " what is that picture?"
"Don't know" said wagging blonde head.
My lips began to move before I realized a spark,
"it was the first election in South Africa...after apartheid"
We all fixed there for a shared remarkable moment,
then slowly sunk back into hot, hot day
empty election office, and a wall full of hope.
Author notes
well, this actually happened.
In a list
A contest entry
- Why, of course! by monimac.
875 points, ended October 24, 2007, 4 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Ok, so I read this a few times. Thought maybe I was just feeling a little on the dense side, and I think I saw the moment I asked for - in the second to last stanza.
This was packed with some really good imagery, though it could have gone without the ellipses. Not only is it a pet peeve, but I don't think they do much for a poem (especially when used too often). Line breaks, other types of punctuation, etc are enough to achieve that pause, or just simply leave it hanging.
Thanks for the entry.
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np on ellipsis, i will leave one in a quoted passage;
thanks for the comments, very helpful... -
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Glad to be of service.
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