I like the shallow water, just sitting with my daughter,
getting slapped by little waves, as our pants fill up with sand.
Her mother’s laughing sunlit eyes surpass the beauty of the skies
as a 'silent darkness’, releases from my hand.
Surprising joy beguiles the spaces, between the wrinkles and the places
that the cares and strife of life, tend to plant in every soul.
Her charming tender splashing arms, assure my heart of no alarms;
and, with mighty power, deliver this man whole.
I feel my life transcending, in moments of attending
to my baby’s windy hair, that blows wildly, oh so free.
My Ana Thea’s laughs and cooing, delightfully are my undoing
as we splash away the day, in wonder of our sea.
Author notes
1) Just a simple ryhme about spending a day at the shore with my one year old daughter, Ana Thea.
A contest entry
- Form Contest by ZachP.
400 points, ended October 26, 2007, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - TEN THOUSAND POINTS OF RHYME! (now 12,000) - Part 2 Children's by cricketjeff.
1000 points, ended December 12, 2007, 19 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Strictly Babies by Mrs LadyEnthralling.
700 points, ended December 16, 2007, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Blessings of Life by Carpe Noctem.
525 points, ended January 2, 2008, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 33 of 33
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This was very cute, and it makes me happy to see a poem from a father not only talking sweetly about his wife and child, but about a day he is spending with them. Too many times these days I find quite the opposite, but it is poems like this that give me hope. Excellent write and good luck in my contest.
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i loved it!
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this poem made me saw awww
what a great heartfelt piece or work :] -
This is very beautiful!
You are truely a very talented poet!Great poetry!
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This tender moment shared with your young daughter is so eloquently expressed and I can feel the love you have for her coming from each line. Children are a blessing and bring us so much joy (as well as hard work and sometimes pain) but the moments we share with when they are little are so special. This poem brought back memories for me of the first time I took mine to the sea. It was a most wonderful experience that makes me smile each time I recall it. Memories like this are to be cherished forever.
I like the rhythm and rhyme you used in this poem. It makes it flow very smoothly and is well deserving of the trophies.
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This was so cute and heartfelt. I loved the form and the rhyme. Thanks for entering, and best of luck!
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aww this melted me here artist i think you did a very great fabolous job i thopught i was having a daughter maybe they saw something else this was flattering
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Many congratulations on the silver in our contest for children.
Your rhyming and rhythm and excellent and your choice of topic was charming.
We hope you will be able to join in the other contests we have in our rhyming challenge.
Again congratulations, Sue and Jeff
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Ahhh I love this reminds me off the times spent on the beach wioth my grandmother Good luck with this poem in the contest Congrats on the bronze
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beautiful
a very nice piece about just being near the sea and the waves crashing all around you and the feeling of the sand on your toes , sounds about great right now as it's getting colder outside , the cooing of your ana's laugh is very precious , very nice and enjoyable to read and thanks for sharing this with me and i know that it came straight from your heart -
This is so sweet. A beautiful memory you have managed to capture with your little girl. thanks for posting in my contest and I wish you all the best at judging. Cathy
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Very sweet..remind me of childhood memories..great job !
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simply beautiful...thoughts and writing...PK
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This reminds me of going to parks with my little sister. She's so much younger than me, that I get to be like a father and not just the distant brother I would so easily become otherwise. Children are such blessings. They remind us that we are all children in the eyes of the Divine, we are all so nascent and so full of potential.
Beautiful poem sir. Thanks for sharing.
Have a nice day,
Nick -
Lovely nonce form, with rhythm and rhyme placed just right for the tone and content. Well done.
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Ihad a little one named Lisa Ann . Beautiful this is
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beautiful
thank you for your entry - yes, love of father for daughter is another of life's little miracles
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great and wonderful poem!! You did a great job with this poem!! very lovely poem!! I really love it
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LOVED THIS!!!
Rhyming is so well done! And the imagery really lovely!
So wonderful to spend time with our family.
"a 'silent darkness’, releases from my hand"
Funny how time spend with those little angels refreshes your soul Fills your thoughts with joy and fuels your spirit so that no task is asked too much from them.
I feel sad.
This poem is so delightful but knowing you had to part from her darkens my heart again and I feel the longing you most probably are feeling. I can see how much you love them in the way you compare them [wife and child] to the shallow splashes. Living in a desert that is something precious. Cooling, soothing. By using that to picture the poem I can see that is how much they mean to you.
I pray that every moment you have together will be magical!
Love
Rebekah
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I live by the shore and share the joy of the ocean waves. I have a three year old great grandaughter and we too share the waves. You have written very well.
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this is gorgeous :]
amazing job. good luck in the contests.
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Soft, but Vivid
Yes the imagery is charming. The rhyming has a lovely ebb and flow quality. It reminds me of the lap of the waves on the shore. It brings us back to perfect family times, perhaps spent at the beach, that we remember and cherish forvever. The ending is superb, I agree with Kerri. It seems to spiral down getting softer as it goes along, just like the cry of seafowl they fly down the beach. Truly wonderful. -
so beautifully done ...we all
just adored the imagery....we could feel the splashing
and beauty of being with your precious daughter.
Well well done. and, with mighty power, deliver this
man whole...the love of our small innocent sweet
beautiful children who have the eyes of our mothers!
You melt our hearts!
ears2hearyou
Kathleen : ))
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thank you for sharing this most beautifully written write with me tonight. to have the day with your daughter must have been wonderful. i wish you well in all your future writes and in this contest as well. i am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. viyanna rosemarie
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Absolutely beautiful. Wow.
I feel my life transcending, in moments of attending
to my baby’s windy hair, that blows wildly and so free.
My Ana Thea’s laughs and cooing, delightfully are my undoing
as we splash away the day, in wonder of our sea.
That ending is spectacular
What a wondrous poem! ~ Kerri
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I like this...it's moving & I like moving things. That, and you have some nice imagery.
Aden Recreated
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Vivid and Poignant
This is a very tender yet powerful evocative poem. It reminds me of the many sweet memories of my own childhood, and I am so moved reading it. Thank you for reminding us of how vital it is to our lives to seize these ever-fleeting precious moments with our children, if only for being made more "whole" ourselves. But truly in this poem, Ana Thea can partake of this treasure chest her whole life-long. What joy!
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Lovely!
It's quite beautiful, and I love the imagery. I can just see her splashing the water. It paints a lovely picture.
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I love this poem. I like the imagery in it. I can see you and your daughter enjoying the beach. It makes me want to go =-P but unfortunately it is getting cold here. No beach till next summer for me...
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Oh this is so wonderfully sweet. The rhyme you have used made your poem flow smoothly and naturally, which was a refreshing change from reading so much forced rhyme lately. Your imagery is lovely and I felt like I was sitting beside you and Ana Thea on the shore, splashing and jumping in the tides.
I love the ocean, and this made me desperate to go there. Thank you for sharing this with me and giving me a nice picture. It was a delight to read.
~birdie -
I love the rhyme scheme, it makes the poem flow very naturally. Wonderful imagery, it sounds very professional.
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What a beautifully written tribute she'll have from her father when she is grown....
lovely
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though i was looking for more like rigid form, i will it go this time ... this is a wonderful poem, and i love the images that you painted here... this is a very beautiful and special moment that you've included me in.
thank you for entering, and good luck in the contest
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