i choose to linger in this pain
i soak it in now
traveling down roads i know will hurt me
if i savor the burn, the chill
these spiked nails
and bits of colored glass in my feet
can only make me smile
nothing you say can hurt me now
i've built a wall and i expect the worst
i've tensed all the muscles
so it doesn't matter what you do
your words and sticks can't elicit
an outward reaction
most find my tenuous hold on this reality
disturbing
deadly
disastrous
but this world is sour and disappointing
why not build my own?
(at the very least, can't i find a new one?)
you all want to save me
in your clumsy caring way
you don't want to try to know me
but all this leaving frightens you
you don't want to admit that you hate it here
as much as i do
your escapes are neater, quieter
but this place is so insane that none of us
can fully remain for too long
i'll be happier if you take the
stones out of my pockets
just take your hands off my sleeves
let go, dammit, and let me fly
Author notes
Weeelll. I had a reeeally depressing night last night, so I was kind of down this morning. So instead of starting my Gov notes I wrote a first draft of this. It's been reworked a few times, and I guess I like it now. No worries, I'm not actually suicidal. Just thoughts. Well...I dunno. I have suicidal thoughts, but I wouldn't actually do it, I know that by now. Blah. Hmm, I haven't posted in awhile, have I. That's why I've missed all the spiffy new backgrounds everyone's using. I must find one...
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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"these spiked nails
and bits of colored glass in my feet
can only make me smile"
This image is so disturbing. The juxtaposition of colored glass (bringing to mind beautiful stained-glass panels, perhaps?) with the implied image of bloody feet and the idea that you're smiling through it all? Wicked. Really.
"let go, dammit, and let me fly"
Just lovely. Don't know what strikes me so about this, but I love the very poetic and almost etherial image of flight that's combined with a very down-to-earth, very unsophisticated curse.
Angels with feet of clay.
I'm not usually a big fan of reading poetry, but you have some very nice lines and images in this. *g* -
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*glompies* Ahmagad! You're here, on AP, reading my poetry! That's so sweet! Thank you for giving poetry a chance, and for complimenting me...It's quite kind.
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Pain is evident in this piece, if you must fly my friend, "DO NOT FALL!" May tomorrow bring you a sunnny sky. Big Hug Kelly
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Thanks for the words and the hug.
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i'm happy to let you /fly/, as long as that doesnt mean letting you /fall/. *hugs* i know ive been a bit nonexistant recently, i'll try to be more in the loop.
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*waves* Hi.
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ah. this is rather frightening. i really don't want you to be hurting yourself. wanna talk about it?
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...sort of, I guess. I just miss talking to you in general...I do talk to you, obviously, but not very much. *sniffs*
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