They were my friends - my adversaries -
those sensible magnolia ideals
entombing solitary existence,
never once did they contradict
my monologues - my weeping –
Just stony expressions painted
with faux gaiety,
slow motion unilateral mould
creeping across fevered brow,
a fuse that burns to nowhere
and in their armpits lay fetid
motes of cast adrift memories.
There is more to be read in dust
that lies upon blanked out windows,
than ever could be read from my eyes.
This abode, this cell, forever quietly
questioning my choices.
Isolation is the furrowed rows
ploughed into my frowning brow,
the cape of void that hangs from no replies,
smothering self conversation.
There is a world just beyond the extent
of my willing, but why risk the scent
of fresh paint when these walls
offer bland eternity.
To lay naked in my clothes,
numb even to my own touch.
Dead to normality.
A contest entry
- rigorous10- and even the stars turned their backs on me by lee-sharp.
800 points, ended October 31, 2007, 12 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Cleaning out the closet [My Favourites Only] by Naridill.
425 points, ended November 9, 2007, 38 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Favorites - Your best Prewrites by Cupcrazy.
1000 points, ended January 17, 2008, 31 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Round One of Five by Kei-Aira.
450 points, ended February 5, 2008, 27 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark PW's by RX-Queen.
900 points, ended June 26, 2008, 93 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
This indeed held my attention from beginning to end and made me ponder. Great job and best wishes to you. Thank you for sharing. Keep that pen handy dear poet.
♥ Touchof1der -
Wonderfully expressive piece, emotionally dark and captivating. Loved it, hugs, Bunny
-
You are not from the United States. Good for you! I know the difference (and correctness level) between "normality" and "normalcy". Will ingest this poem; does not seem too emotional.
-
"Isolation is the furrowed rows
ploughed into my frowning brow,
the cape of void that hangs from no replies,
smothering self conversation."
Powerful lines and imagery using good vocabulary.
Well done.
Thanks for sharing.
Virgoan
-
wow~! I loved this~ it really just wants me to go watch mirror mask...
Thanks for entering and much luck
~~~!
-
Another excellent write, i cannot believe I have not run across you before being Laura's AP hubby and all. This is a wonderful piece of work...
"There is more to be read in dust
that lies upon blanked out windows,
than ever could be read from my eyes."..
Scott
-
84
-
wow
the imagery is awsome..but why risk the scent of fresh paint when these walls offer bland eternity..awesome line..wow..good luck in the contest..but you should win hands down..lol.
-
Excellent work good use of words Good luck in the contest this is my favorite part
They were my friends - my adversaries -
those sensible magnolia ideals
entombing solitary existence,
never once did they contradict
my monologues - my weeping – -
I love this, it's unique and so very well done
My favourite lines were these:
"and in their armpits lay fetid
motes of cast adrift memories."
Once again, you're the master of verbiage. Thank you for sharing.
Hugs'n'Snugs
Me 
-
ill be back with a score, but this was simply fantastic on first reading. perfectly captured the essence of the prompt.
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
