Rheum cracks when I open my eyes
This is not vengeance: this is murder
Jagged grin at the sunrise
Iceberg tip rips asunder
Moonlit lies
Spirit dies
Unsheath wrinkled skin
I guffaw
Bloody paw
And declaw the heart that beats within
Hollow, echo, declamation
Litmus deep inside my core
Test the wave of proclamation
Pounding an indiff'rent whore
Fading mist
Cherished, kissed
Spank the bubble burning bright
Shoot my brothers
Sally Struthers
Cries as mothers tempt the knight
Chew, peristaltic waves
Ruptured colon, bearded chin
Whoop and holler, tainted collar saves
The raving of my heart that beats within.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
Wow..
Wow this is something that I would rather read in my AP English classes. Although it took a couple of readings, after I understood it, as a new writer and member of this site, it gave me an idea of what creative is! -
once again my friend you have found a way to have me thinking out of the box where normally I don't.
Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
Bill
-
i love the beat of it! this is one of those poems that makes u think. it is so great! i love it. this shows true talent.
<3 baconlicious112
-
What a heart beat. And the beat to this beat just beat me over the head. Besides, I know how you hate redundancy!
Loved the dark edge drawn around the circles of your eyes. This poem takes place in dark recesses of the mind. It bends and twists, even whirs. Excellent! Loved it!
Love ya ♥
Renee
-
"the raving heart that beats within"
echoes earlier declamation...
more better. This would seen to rhyme.
shoot my brothers
sally struthers,
utterly useless.
(Sometimes You just gotta ignore the things
the rhymes will make you do,
and then, trust the Muse
who is always restless,
but not chained.
Yours in the Lord
Lute.
oopsers, Pounding the indifferent whore, mostest
important image in this here poem.
-
damn..
-
All I can imagine is four walls here, it's eeire and dank, its almost dungeon like. mm well thats me, well, Hollow, echo, declamation litmus deep inside my core. and hollow is this arena which has shown violation and you give of a great feel for secretive venues. It's almost claustophobic, now that's what I call beating hearts,
-
I enjoy how this piece flows but I will have to read this again later when my brain is working.
-
Masochistic, baby!
ah, I do like this, though.
Feels like my monday.
Are you looking for serious crit ever?
Adding your comment:
1 - 9 of 9
