today
alex had a birthday
every boy there was young
unhindered by the many things
that would come
came in the years
i had witnessed in
myself
i envy
yet studied innocence
the excitement in his eyes
when my gift of twenty- something dollars
was foreign
rare
and luxury
i stared
with curiosity
when his brother benjamin
asked to play soccer
if i'd go easy
letting him have a
chance
why was that a question
i never asked
why was it not
given
and why
two decades later
am i jealous of a
seven year old
boy
on his ten year old brother's
birthday
Author notes
may not keep this posted. not what i am looking for out of the day.
In a list
Comments
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I think it was a brilliant penning rich with emotions and it definitely has a universal feel to it. I have to agree with Yvette..Sometimes the heart will outweigh the mind. Mind is logic- the heart is the center. I actually enjoyed this, feeling the richness of how one generation will pave the way for another in ways that weren't even contemplated in our time.
Allowing it to just comes natural to the next one. It shows signs of how each generation eases the way for the one's whom come after us.
I'd keep it..
Blessings~
~Joy
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sigh
you captured every sentiment wonderfully.
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Beautiful, the sentiments are just beautiful. I can feel it. I can feel the humanity in it.
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thank you.
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this blew me away dusty, i just loved it, i think youve picked up on something that is universal to, dare i say it... Humanity. an older generation always looks down on the younger and most likely is jealous of the easier lifestyle.
Why did we never ask that??? personally i never wanted to have an easy game of Football, Why Play.
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Intriguing guy, aren't you?
Well done; loved it, man.
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I love how you can take an idea so simple as a brothers birthday party and make it something so much deeper than what it is originally. I love the expression of emotion- confusion and envy in the piece. I thought it was really deep how you explored both sides sort of. Like when you are younger all you want is to grow up. And when you are older all you want is to go back. I thought you did a nice job at expressing that.
~elizabeth~ -
I understand the poet when he wonders whether to retain the post as it was not what he looked for out of the day.My last post was impromptu,a post in response to the tragic taking of life of a two year old child,poetically it is tripe,but it's what my heart has to say and sometimes the heart has to ignore the head.
The title is an effective intoduction and a statement within itself.Within the last stanza the line "am i was jealous " perhaps needs refining and defining.I enjoyed the honesty of the poem,it places us as adults all with the ability to ache at the lost joie de vivre and openess that is slowly but surely tempered by societal constraints lest we are thought of as childish,whilst those that never lose their child-like wonder are to be envied and I openly admit that some things are playing with a yo-yo ( oh the satisfaction of walking the dog!) blowing bubbles,making sandcastles and swinging round and round! I have been admonished for my squeels of unbridled pleasure but that is what we lose along the way to adulthood,the innocent to ask for what we feel we need and yet that very innocence was lost to me by the age of four when I met death ( another long story)
I feel we get confined by chronology,I ask people that are uptight about their age and expectations exactly how old they would feel if they didn't know their age,invariably it is different from their given age.We have many ages,an educational age,an emotional age,a chronological age,a spiritual age et al but basically we are as old as we allow ourselves to feel and it isn't finite but changes according to circumstance,allowing us to empathize with same age peers,those older and those younger,end of rambling
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thank you for that great response. i have fixed that one line. i don't know how or why "was" ever slipped in there.
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wish I had written it.
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wow!
Really poignant languange that captures each moment so well! I really like this; makes you think a lot. For me it makes me think about the idea of innocence and youth, something the world is short of if you ask me!
well done!
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I can't comment on this properly, especially with sleep in my eyes but I do feel the longing - I feel it myself, in my past.
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i may delete this, because it sort of felt like a cop- out. know what i mean? the day was actually great, and i loved being there. didn't envy anyone. so this poem seems too stretched. oh well, tomorrow welcomes new material. -
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lol - you do what you have to do. it was definitely well done. and now i am really off to bed. i am finally getting tired.
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