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[ Deep in the the darkness ]

Deep in the the darkness

I wonder and wait

Are you still there breathing

Or are you tired and still

 

You take that breath

You take that pill

Do you every wonder

What we think

 

You lie there quite

No motion no sound

We have no idea

Your alone in your dispare

 

You took the time to write the note

To say how much you cared

Did you really love us

Did you really care

 

I wake to sounds of chaos

Scared to know the truth

My eyes are closed

My heart pounds

 

Do you know how I feel

Do you even care

You lie there in your silent peace

I want to scream out lound

 

Why did you want to leave us

Your cluless to our love

You think your all alone now

Well right now you are

 

Tell me that you need us

Just say once that you are proud

Let us show the love we have

Dont shut the door again

Author notes

A suicide is a horrible thing, and the people it leaves behind are scared and angry.

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Lowell Poe
    April 26, 2008

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    When one person is gone it effects so many for so long.
    So sorry lassie.
    It was tragically beautiful.
    Thank you so much for your comment on my work, it is the finest compliment when someone takes time from their life to read ones work. The best we can give to one another is our time..it means so much.
    Me Irish grand ma used to tell me...she would say...
    LOWELL...

    Write something grand,
    for you may be entertaining Angels,
    Unaware.

    Very smart women,
    Blessings always lassie,
    LOWELL POE.


  • Age of Rain
    March 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very powerful piece. Its sentiment is strong. One of my best friends killed himself. I know how this feels. But even without that empathic knowledge, this piece holds its own. The questions provoke interaction with the piece, and the ending adds a tiny glimmer of hope. There were a couple grammatical errors, I listed them as follows:
    "quiet" line 9
    "despair" line 12
    "clueless" line 26
    On interesting note, all of these errors involved an "e."
    Besides that your piece is flawless. Well done.


  • poppa
    February 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    stunning yet sad piece....Suicide is a very selfish act.....it leaves so many unanswered questions.....
    Ive read this after reading about a Syd mum who has killed her two kids (both 5 and under) then tryed to take her own life...She has lived...always always the innocents are hurt.........I hope you all can find some peace...
    With
    Rob.......


  • Rheea gold member
    February 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This shows your heart, what more can you ask.. you did well with this it makes me want to cry.


  • My Souls Reflection gold member
    February 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This gave me goosebumps and brought back memories for me. You've really expressed the pain and anger of those left behind very well. The endless questions are something that we ultimately have to let go of because we will never fully find the answers. There are many different levels of depression and some people just have more will to go on than others.
    Big hug to you
    Anne xo


  • CherryOnTop
    January 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    When a person gets to this point of desperation.They haven't the strength or the will to be worried about those of us who are left behind.God bless you.

  • forever-alone
    November 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    its quiet sad has some deep rooted emtion hidden within this poem, iu can kind of relate to loneliness in this poem, and the factr people take upon themselves to take whats is not theirs to take


  • Ithica silver member
    October 22, 2007
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    This is such an alarming poem. No one really knows why life is so much harder for some than for others. And so it makes the lives of those around them filled with uncertainty and pain. One thing for sure attempting suicide is a cry for help, but more often than not they can't articulate their needs. Very sad poem indeed. I hope this was a healing purge...


  • jcat gold member
    October 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very powerful poem and your author note is right on!! They are to wrapped up in their own pain to take notice of those they are hurting and ultimatly to leave behind... God bless you

1 - 9 of 9