alone

Scared and alone if you ever could believe that this brass exterior could come crumbling down so easy,
The tears I've learned to hold in my heart ring out hollow and clear.
And Although I paint my face pretty with cheer,
it all ends each night with a joint, or a beer.
Battered and burned from the flame of the fire,
liquid my only solvent.
And still I pretend to be o.k,
burnt and still alive,
alone but still breathing,
scared but still standing.
And each day I find myself fighting more to be strong,
and at the end of each night...
I've lost the battle,
but I still pretend I'm o.k.
My golden walls have melted,
my plastic tears have shed,
my liquid soul is leaking,
and I'm left wondering why each and every time I'm alone I fight these feelings,
these thoughts, this pain, this aloneness.

Am I to never be alone without being in agony?

Where's the reformation wheres the change, wheres the solidity in my heart?

I feel this love, then another moment passes,

darkness befalls me and shivers surround me and I'm alone yet again.

Alone but still alive.