Killing and rage
as I turn each page
Yelling and screaming,
as if I was dreaming.
Anger and hate,
it's only mate.
As it turns the rest down,
I begin to frown.
I thought it would be better from here,
become clear.
But, no intead,
only darkness was ahead.
Using my thought,
to win the battles I have faught.
I am traped inside
and I cannot hide.
A contest entry
- Frustrating Anger by torieshawesum.
800 points, ended October 29, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Emotions --prewrites allowed by MaMa-2-be-Cindy.
380 points, ended October 30, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Get It Off Your Chest! by TheStupidLamb.
300 points, ended February 17, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Angry?!! Show me just how angry you are... by starving-to-survive.
1250 points, ended January 25, 89 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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hummmmmm?! very thought provoking. I can really feel your anger here. IT almost as if, if this was being read out loud your voice would get louder and louder as you become more angry and frustrated...my take on it anyway! love this. Thank you for entering my contest
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Very well penned, shows so much emotion. Best of luck in the contest with it
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Rhymes are great
The rhyme is great and the idea of it is great. I love this poem. You have become one of my favorites! The only thing wrong is that you spelled trapped wrong... Lol. But no biggie.
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A good write here
I like the lines
Anger and hate
Is its only mate
As it turns the rest down
I begin to frown
Its sad that people work so hard to hate when if they put that same energy on love they could find the peace they so seak .
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You definetly showed the emotion of anger/rage. Very well done. I felt you words
Thank you and Goodluck
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good stuff!I like the short sharp lines they're really effective.good luck wisinald
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Wicked!
This is awesome! I like the snappy style you've written in and they rhyming just flows superbly. Really fab write indeed. Best of luck in the contest! -
A real solid sense of frustration and anger in this piece. Though this could easily relate to a book, it seems more to fit reading a magazine or newspaper filled with all the usual death, depression, hate, doom and gloom, thus the rising anger.
Good write.
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good imagery....
clean and clear, I am trapped inside and I cannot hide.
I've read books like that just wanted to get them over
with..hoping that the story would get better but only
got worse......since you like dark, how about trying
some metaphors? like a gruesome thirsty vampire or
a deathly stare of a cadavar (sorry couldn't spell it)
a dead person. Perhaps with the use of a metaphor your
style could really shine through with the clearness
of your write, like a mirror.
ears2hearyou
Kathleen : ))
p.s. I'll send you some links of haunting pictures as
a start...see what you can do with them, play with
them in your mind, what images and words do you find
to match them tooo...
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........ this is ikind of confusing and doesnt really make since.
thx for trying anywaze and all that other crap im supposed to tell you -
A few spelling errors but nonetheless a great write. Dark writes always caught my eye a bit more than others.
"Killing and rage
as I turn each page
Yelling and screaming,
as if I was dreaming."
Sounds like a book you're reading though
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