Peace comes in a day, a moment
that mankind must make,
when we begin to live as equals
in freedom.
We have been blessed with
unlived life and an undivided world,
a miracle of water and air
tied to a star.
There is abundance
it is within our grasp
yet much of the world lies in want
and conflict.
We struggle over
yesterday's offerings of sunlight
buried in earth times so long past,
but the Sun also shines today.
Ignoring so many in dire need, for whom
there is neither peace nor freedom.
We know we can be better,
and we prove it in the breach;
the aid to hunger and illness.
Or when our eyes and hearts might be briefly
opened as when the seas swallowed up
pacific shores, and so many children;
and the world seemed to answer.
Yet even knowing the root causes of
persisitent misery, we flinch at the prospect
of enabling those with less,
rebuilding lives threatened by poverty.
War and conquest come as easily as rash anger
and compassion finds a harder way,
an instinct to conflict still comes first
in the ordered menu of this age;
effort flies to the wants of the rich.
We cannot divide the air, separate
the waters; we cannot hide behind walls
or indifference, the world seeps into itself.
Time teaches and endures the lesson
until learned; and perhaps
in the face of the power drunk
excess in this day,
finally count ways
pain might be healed
in love, rather than vengeance;
find ways to bring an open hand,
sow seeds of promise.
There is so much more,
that we might do;
if only we would...change this day.
Author notes
I expect to edit this yet
In a list
A contest entry
- Poetry Challenge, Round One by Laura Lamarca.
850 points, ended October 30, 2007, 15 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Wow. I did like this very much. Simple. Pure. Powerful. Very well done. Glad to see this piece in the pre-lims.
~Pamela 
-
ok, La seems to like this one, I however have a few reservations. The final stanza is the strongest, the rest of the write says what it needs to say .. but .. it doesn't linger in my thoughts, it comes over a little to "plain" speak for me.
Don't get me wrong its good enough to get the author through to round 2, but it just lacks something.
Thank you for entering & good luck in the judging
-
This poem makes such a simple, yet powerful point. We are all in this together. The fate of all men is intertwined, and we must help each other to help ourselves. I liked its hopeful tone and the graceful way it was written. Good luck in this contest. Peace, Liz
-
Rubric Grade A (95%)
Initial Impact/Reaction 10/10
Originality 10/10
Creativity 9/10
Line-breaks/emphasis/flow 9/10
Poetic device/verbiage 9/10
Ideas/metaphors/imagery 9/10
Cohesion 10/10
Understandable/makes sense 10/10
Overall poetic effort 4/5
Emotion/personality/edge 5/5
Last impact/reaction 10/10
This rubric grade speaks for itself, well done indeed.
Thanks for entering and good luck in the judging. La x
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