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don't pirate me away

 

 

 

 

this disease does not own me

 

 

it came in apoplectic fits and starts,

in volts electric white in intensity

with intent to devour if allowed

 

I can’t live within bacteria’s darkness

where time crawls by turtle-slow

turning a mind into limp word salad

 

don’t pirate me away, safe in a box

to never walk beneath a yellow moon

or touch a feather soft with sun

 

let me dance naked as if drunk

with the dial turned up too loud ~

let me unfold myself into a smile

 

listen when I sing of a castle on a hill

or when I cry over our torn universe ~

know you are a prince, my angel

 

autumn is inflamed with divine color

air sweet with scents of crisp cider,

let’s walk beneath heaven’s canopy -

 

let’s go in triumph, without fear

 

 

 

 

In a list

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Comments

1 - 29 of 29

  • Heart Sutra
    November 2, 2008

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    Wow! this is a well written poem on the subject. It is hard to write about disease and in particular one like Multiple Sclerosis.


  • donnz
    October 17, 2008

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    Excellente'

    "Tomorrow is promised to No one", I do not want a 'pity party, The funny thing about 'LIFE, is we are all gonna die...So come lets dance. Now a days, I walk with a stick, so, at least hobble with me.
    I love the 'Spirit, and defying of deaths gloom.


  • superstition
    October 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This poem is really good, and as I've heard them say: Is it you who has the disease or is it the disease which has you? It's good to see that a stand has been taken here and that there's still a lot of living left to do. Very nice.


  • stasis
    May 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wow!

    This is... incredible. It took my breath away in the most literal sense of the word; it's raw and heavy, which is what I love about poetry. Again, incredible write.


  • BecomingDawn
    May 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    This is stunning. Wow. Can I applaud you with five instead of three?


  • Hate-And-Pain
    May 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    An amazing piece, well written and thought provoking. I can tell its meaning is powerful...well done


  • Amunet Wolfbane Moderators member
    March 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A very powerfully done piece. You can really put yourself into it as your read it. I have FMS myself and this, I can relate to. It's like it is always a battle between you and your own body.


  • leander Moderators member
    March 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is very powerful. I had to unclick the applaud button because I always do that the first when I see one of my favourites. But since I've breeded (sp?) the habit not to do so in contests

    Love this one!

    Leander


  • Celticmoon
    March 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a powerful piece and sends a really amazing message. I can only hope that more read this and take their cue from you. Life is too short to not enjoy to the fullest regardless of what disease one may or may not have. Bravo!
    Thank you for entering.
    Best of luck to you!


    Blessings
    Bel


  • Uniquely-Scarred
    February 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    THIS IS TRUELY HEART RENDERING, A LOVELY THOUGHT PROVOKING WRITE, WHICH IS RIPED FROM YOUR HEART AND SOUL, THIS IS REAL EMOTION AND IT IS GREAT POETRY, YOU FIGHT IT DEAR AND FIGHT IT ALL THE WAY, ALL MY LOVE

    JOHN


  • MissyMouse
    February 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Ah the tears


  • kyle19
    December 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Bravo, bravo, bravo!!! I stand thusly and bow low to you! Very nicely written! Never give up, always strive to keep your head up high! Everyone should read this! Thank you for writing it!

    K


  • puzzledone121
    November 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    fight with a disease is similar to fighting in a war..since its a fight not launched by the soldiers..its a situation forced upon a person and you have no choice but to fight..til death if necessary... we're on the same boat i guess as my circulatory system has gone bonkers...
    yeah, like the title...very explicit..it comes when you least expect it...
    the first line is a protest..as anyone with a serious ailment would understand...
    and the last line...is THE challenge..as acceptance of the situation and the will to fight...very cohesive...and congratulations


  • Starnova
    October 31, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    oh my!! you got 1st place, i'm soo happy for you. i loved your poem and i think you deserved this reward. great job and keep it up

    congrats!!
    nekki


  • SilverButterfly gold member
    October 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    you are one of my favorite poets on AP!!! i love your talent and this write is filled with awesome words of encouragement!!! This should be published everywhere for those who have this terrible disease!!!!

    GBY
    SilverButterfly


  • Tercil gold member
    October 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Well! This one is compact and i like the subject matter as well, this competition is going to be difficult to judge, and what I like about this is yu haven't put a picture as I do, to make this self evident and it's like you really want us to understand MS. I like that, in that, whil eht everse is short, it's supposed to be to hit the mark, in that you did, very well done!!! Titus


  • naked roots
    October 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Love the imagery in this...
    The beginning lines and ending lines had quite an impact. Although, so did every line in between. Very nicely done.


  • Gods-Artgal
    October 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is a very good poem. Hope you win the contest.


  • pixxiepoetess
    October 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You never cease to amaze me. Fantastic use of the word bank, never would have known if it wasn't for the link at the end of the poem. It flows seamlessly. >pixxie<


  • Starnova
    October 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i am moved by the visual affliction of emotion you have bestowed in this poem. stating how that you may have an illness, you will not subcome to it but fight and go on as if it never existed. i love the way you made the words from the bank fit in to the poem and the flow is very nice. it stays on course and makes since. very well written and nicely worded. i wish you luck in the contest.




  • BeautifulFlame
    October 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I am sorry for your affliction but i must say you have great optimism and that is what brings this poem to life!
    Your very first words told the whole story of how we should look at this well written feelings you penned!

    this disease does not own me

    Loved that!
    ~Lisa~


  • lilAj
    October 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    really liked what u did with the word bank!


  • PrincessOfFire
    October 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is so well done. You should send it to Montel Williams show. He also has MS. I fight another affliction chronic pain from back injury and your right, we must stand strong to live life. I wrote this one if you want to read it. http://allpoetry.com/poem/3492530
    Thanks for being strong and God bless.
    Rose


  • Jillosophy
    October 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    What a powerful and poignant look at your life with a disease. So sorry you are struggling with MS. I love the line, "let me unfold myself into a smile". I really like the whole stanza but that line just caught me. Masterfully done, as usual Lady.

    jill

  • Trevor Hadley
    October 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Very moving.

    I too have MS and a few other things thrown in for good measure and I too aspire to the optimistic, the creative. Illness is much worse if the unlucky victims see themselves as only the sum of their pains and drugs. They have nothing to talk about. Yes, lets go in triumph without any fear. You have plenty to say and I shall be looking up more of your work. Loved it. Thanks for sharing.


  • Twist of Faith
    October 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    As always, amazing. Your use of words and images really brought the stark reality of MS to light for me. My prayers are with you in your fight.


  • RedwingSpirit silver member
    October 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Uh sorry about the disease my good friend had this and overdosed on her medication very good write if feel if the disease is talking to me
    this disease does not own me





    it came in apoplectic fits and starts,

    in volts electric white in intensity

    with intent to devour if allowed



    I can’t live within bacteria’s darkness

    where time crawls by turtle-slow

    turning a mind into limp word salad



    don’t pirate me away, safe in a box

    to never walk beneath a yellow moon

    or touch a feather soft with sun



    let me dance naked as if drunk

    with the dial turned up too loud ~

    let me unfold myself into a smile



    listen when I sing of a castle on a hill

    or when I cry over our torn universe ~

    know you are a prince, my angel



    autumn is inflamed with divine color

    air sweet with scents of crisp cider,

    let’s go walk beneath heaven’s canopy...



    let’s go in triumph without any fear
    The whole things is my favorite part is wonderful

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    October 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I was recently told that poetry doesn't make a difference to the world,I replied that whilst poetry may not make a difference to the world per se it may make a difference to the world of the individual.
    Herein the poetess places words on the page and poetically pours the weight of the disease which causes the fractures within existence yet the strength within the words defies the decimating and debilitating disease.
    Good usage of grammar,alliteration and assonance.Emotion revealed with intensity.Loved the fourth stanza,loved it's daring and duality yes,dance to the weight of the day and defy it's ability to drag the spirit,turn the volume up and sing and dance,it's one life,one journey and one chance to serve the self by lifting the spirit.
    Perhaps you may consider publishing a book entirely of your writes re MS which may prove cathartic for yourself and be helpful to others both by knowing that someone else feels these feelings and also it may encourage them to write and find a way to release their own feelings.


    • knock
      December 21, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      music, art, poetry whatever always makes a difference. from a global difference , such as band aid where some rubbish music fed a gap for a while. to as you say, making a difference to an inividual, who for example, if you wrote a piece about , i dunno, firing a flare gun in the direction of george (junior) bush's arse (was it one of yours, i cant remember, lol) might inspire someone to do it. Which if successful would probably change the world for a short period of time.
      Gimmie the address of who said poetry dont change anything.I could write enough pages to kill a rain forest, lol.
      peace,
      knock.

1 - 29 of 29