Hey skinny indie boy
Make your plastic time stop
Let me tangle my fingers
In your sexy sweet mop
Hey skinny indie boy
Come knock on my door
Your conscience kosher clothes
Would look hot on my floor
Hey skinny indie boy
Tell me what you’ll do
If I take your hand
And give you permission too
Come skinny indie boy
With your serious face
Spend the day
Clothes-less at my little place
Oh skinny indie boy
You make my heart miss beat
When you smile at me
In passing on cuba street
Pretty skinny indie boy
Do you have any idea?
The longing locked behind
My careless brown eyed stare?
Ah sweet indie boy!
Come knock on my door!
Your conscience Kosher clothes
Would look hot on my floor.
Author notes
Indy boys attract me! Pretty little indy boys! Basically that whole 'I wear skinny jeans and tight girls tops to show off my lovely body' thing is a real turn on for me!
From what everyone is saying I am thinking maybe I should make this lyrics to a song. Thanks everyone for commenting.
A contest entry
- What does it for you? by Tattboyspet.
300 points, ended November 1, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - . by Aurora Ceres.
700 points, ended November 1, 2007, 74 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
It doesn't feel like it flows. Suggestions? How does it feel to you?
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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Yes! I had some little indie tune running through my head while I read this. Or maybe it was closer to riot grrl. Haha, no big difference (shifty eyes).
And as a song, you don't need to worry about the meter as much - you can just throw in those pauses to even in out in breaths and sighs while you're singing.
I can't say they make me "O", but what-ever floats your boat. (You'd probably find my metalhead other half a little to grungy by the sound of things).
And it might seem silly but although I'm sure I've perused your stuff before I just don't think of you as a source of poetry - as though the forum were separate from the rest of the site.
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Well that is good, cause then we don't have to share! You can have the metalheads, and I will have the mop heads (hair style, not actual mops, that would be rather weird). If we ever take over the world, that is how we can divide them up.
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Oh no, we only have to divide the men up into two groups. One one man group containing Tim, and another group with the rest.
You can have the second group, I don't really need them. -
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Well I mainly want my group cause my Joe falls into it, but I like to have a couple of slaves to do my bidding as well, or should I call them minions? I like minions better. Yes skinny indy minions.
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I hate to open my mouth and prove myself an idiot, but whats an Indie boy? Is this a new-age term for some fashion I'm missing in the midst of hillbillydom in Ohio?...Scott
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It is a new fangled trend indeed, they were op shop clothes, normally tight jeans and tight girls t-shirts, have a big mop of curly hair, so cute!
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Cute =]
I have to say this poem is quite catchy...has a great beat...and I can totatlly see this as a song.
My favorite stanza
"Hey skinny indie boy
Come knock on my door
Your conscience kosher clothes
Would look hot on my floor"
I thought that was very clever and well put together. It almost makes me want to fall for an "indie kid"...but sadly I'm not really into the whole tight girl jeans and t-shirt thing...but heyy we all have our own prefences [I have a thing for long shaggy hair boys,kinda stocky and built,and a basic Tee and jeans basiacally rocker/skater guys]
But anyways good luck in the contest and great job!
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Brilliant
Almost makes ME want to take up with a skinny Indie Boy. ["Almost" being the key word in that sentence... 'cause they'd be missing something for my taste... and have a bit too much of something else]
Seriously, I agree with the others that say this should be a song... was listening to Samantha Fox "Naughty Girls need love too" as I was reading the start. Strikes me as the same "saucy" type of lyric. Perhaps one could re-assemble the Spice Girls for this one.
{Ow, don't hit me with that brick!}
I'll have to find some time to read more of your delicious poetry.
Thank you for this one!
Write On!
Jim
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Very nice piece you've written. I've seen my fair share of skinny Indy boys, although not too many have been pretty.
Excellent write, however!
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Hah.
This is adorable. -
I really like it! The only thing that caught my eye suggestion wise is I've always seen 'Indy' spelt 'Indie'. Like Indie-Rock. I could be wrong though.
Pretty skinny indy boy
Do you have any idea?
The longing locked behind
My careless brown eyed stare?
I think 'clue' would also flow a bit better here, instead of 'idea.'
This poem was amazing....and i abso-freaking-lutely love the last stanza.
<3shinE* -
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Thanks, I was wondering if there was a difference.
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LOL@THIS! This stuff is gold! Shallow, funny, fickle-the teen spirit in this is obvious! Great stuff
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I LOVE THIS!!!
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Delightful rhyme and a free and easy quality make this a wonderful poem to read. Best of luck in the contest.
D.M.
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thank you for your entry ...
here's hoping you find your indy boy
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awesome!
I really like the stanza where you say "your conscience kosher clothes would look hot on my floor". i love this! it made me think of a song or something. if u put it to music i'd just want to get up and dance. ! -
ah, I love skinny indie boys...siiigh
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This poem makes me wet...
what a great hook, skinny indy boy!!
I love how you mixed the carefree elements of love and rhyme with sex...hmmmmmm...
the Kosher thing was real brilliant too.
The whole poems bloody brilliant...a real pick me up.
This should be a song!
Favoriting
~Hippie
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Thanks! I actually came up with that kosher verus first and then I was like 'I have to put something around this!' and yeah I wish I could make it into a song, unfortunately I don't play any instruments, and the only bands I know have singers who are straight boys or slighly militariant lesbians, so unfortunately (until my flatmates becomes a music journalist and meets all the famous bands) I will have to wait.
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I'll sing it! "grabs trusty cowbells and old bongos"
OHHHHHHHHH....jk...my voice is like a dying cat..
~hippie
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i looooove this. I have a thing for boys like that, emo boys that arent emo but like the clothes. so efffing hot. indy boys with them tight jeans. god. yep. i agree.
great write.
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