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[ If only I werent ]

If only I werent
Going so far away
Im in love with you
Yes in love
Your poetry
Your soul
Your eyes
Your heart
If only I werent
Going so far
Id stay with you forever
Your ring on my finger
Your kids in my womb
Oh my soulmate
I dont want to hurt you
But so far away
So far away
Id rather break your heart from this very start
Release you
Let you fly free
Because Im going so far
Away from you
Away from home.

Author notes

Eric: I love you still.

A contest entry

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Comments


  • The-Phoenix
    November 5, 2007

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    I understand you completely.
    Ironically, I went through a similar situation with a guy named Eric also. Sadly, our relationship didn’t turn out for the best but I wish you the greatest amount of luck with yours.

    As for the poem itself…you do a wonderful job with free verse poetry. My favorite part in this one is:
    “If only I weren’t
    Going so far
    I’d stay with you forever
    You’re ring on my finger
    You’re kids in my womb”

    The only suggestion that I could possibly make in regards to your poetry is to use punctuation, especially if you enter your poems in contests. Most judges take grammar and punctuation into consideration and it can either make you or break you in a competition.

    I really do like your poetry and I’ll most likely be adding you. =]
    Keep up the good work.
    ~Phoenix

  • PersuingHappyness
    October 27, 2007

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    aww... this is very sad and very touching... this is kind of how I feel right now.... but I really don't know what to do.... My boyfriend lives more that two thousand miles away and we met on allpoetry and I really want to be with him yet it would probably cost me my family to do so. This was a great read. NOTE: Thank you so much for entering the contest…. I wish you good luck in it. Please read some of the other works in the contest. I have gotten some awesome pieces in it so far.