Son.
Working to be all I always wanted
to be.
But never knew it,
until forever.
Always knew it.
Always wanted to be everything
I wanted to be.
Until forever.
Never knew it.
Son. All I always wanted to be.
Forever. Always knew it.
Until.
Never.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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excellent
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both structure and idea are equally challanging!truly inspiring and very well penned!keep up!
wink*
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this is what i see here: it's the elephant in the room of our minds, in a sense. the truth we won't acknowledge, we cast off as an impossibility. the second "never knew it," as in the actual realization of our dreams, is the coming of age which never occurred. the next generation picking up where we left off. and yet still having so far to go. maybe still convinced that the dreams are unachievable.
obviously this interpretation may be entirely wrong.
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It also may be entirely right. But we should leave some mystery in life.
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the first time you read it it puts you in a bit of a conundrum. after about the third time i read it i realized i was right the first time around. a bit of a paradox. but what i gather is that you are a very talented writer as it takes quite a good mind to confuzzle me. it puts me in mind of my grandfather, i spent a long time striving for what i had always wanted, only to discover that it wasn't what i wanted, it was something i had never wanted, merely what he wanted me to be. not a terribly good memory to evoke, but none the less an evocative and powerful poem, despite it's length and apparent circular path to the untrained mind. good job.
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