So, how are you? Are you well? How's the day been for you?
That's good to hear, and I hope things continue this way.
Come here, I think you need to forget all about today,
because you look simply ravishing in your jeans
the way they fit around your slim hips...
the way they tighten around your slender thighs...
It makes me blush and turn away, unsure of what
your thoughts would be to see me weak;
as I am, in your eyes, a strong female, full
of whim and wonder, sensuality and purity.
I am the one in control of you, as I lean in
for a shy kiss that can turn down many roads
all winding through your hair as I stare
into amytal-like cyan orbs of glassy beauty
shiny as they are in the shade of lust.
The way you smile at me causes my heart to tear
off your shirt to feel the firm flesh beneath
and make you shiver as my cold fingers trace
hearts and circles around your chest and stomach
arching into my touch as I caress lower,
the way you gasp makes my heart race
down to the clasp of your pants, asking entrance
to your holy ground.
You guide my hands,
showing me what exactly what makes you smile
and what makes you sigh and shiver, and
makes your heart resting inside pound....
Author notes
I commented on southerncomfort15's poem
A contest entry
- for the poets who think they can write imagery (pw allowed) by abuyi.
1200 points, ended January 24, 2008, 29 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I by N e a r.
2300 points, ended February 3, 2008, 220 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think...?
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
-
Astonishing.
I was imagining the girl I love writing this to me...
That would be sexy. n.n;
But that's not gonna happen, so I'll just continue daydreaming.
Beautiful. I loved every word & beat.
Thanks for entering. Good luck.
-
its very beautifully done, your 4th stanza is the heart of this write.. i like your choice of words especially 'amytal'
hmm i feel in your last para second line use of word 'second' once is enough..
you should know that its a lil difficult for me to know the authors name cause This is an anonymous contest, but i managed, it be nice if you fix it in your author notes to avoid later confussions
thanks again for entering my contest and your length was fine..best of luck
abuyi -
a very good write...
I personally felt this part I could see and feel the most good luck to you..
off your shirt to feel the firm flesh beneath
and make you shiver as my cold fingers trace
hearts and circles around your chestar
-
-
Thanks.
-
-
phew, this leads to a much longer ending in flesh,
one finds themselves pointing at the words above...lol..Artis -
-
Thank you!
I was thinking about a part 2, but I realized, as you said, it might be quite long...
-
-
Hey I'm not done yet you'll have to re-enter and follow rules o.k. sorry I put I wasn't done and do not enter yet at the top of my contest must have not seen it thats ok just re enter in a few hours
-
-
Ah...okay, thanks...I'm slow...V.V
-
-
Nicely done! I approve
-
-
Thank you very much! And, um, I guess I'm glad you approve...!
-
-
very arousing ^^ just lovely y'know!
RtheO
-
-
Thanks to ya! Good to hear you liked it!
-
-
Yay for tight Levi's...LOL Good write Kari
-
-
Thank ya, dear, and yes, Hurrah for Tight Levi's That Cling Deliciously To A Man's Ass (H.T.L.T.C.D.T.A.M.A. For short)!!!!!
-
-
You know what...? I'm gonna remember that for ages...I'm not sure if I like my new icon, I look high as a kite and kind of psycho too. What d'ya think, Jackie..?
-
-
-
ooo, to write a sequel to this from the guys point of view, how you guide him to your garden of delights and dircet his caresses and licks, lovley visuals here, tight levis abound...lolArtis
-
-
^^ Thank you, and...that's a really good idea...! Thank you for your comment and inspiration!
-
-
Ooh
It's offical, I really like this one...it just inspires me to write...you don't mind do you...I just lvoe this...Oh, gosh, I'll just like have to add this to my favorites!!! -
-
Oh my, thank you so much! I am flattered, that I have inspired you!
I can't wait to read your work soon...
Akari
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 19 of 19
