The last flame dies beneath the sea,
Forver sealing his asked for grave
I stand a moment, a mourning beauty
And beckon gulls to cry a minor knell
To tell the world my love is dead.
Forever shall his funeral pyre
Haunt my no longer lovely dreams
The sight of fire consuming his body
Will serve as a reminder for years to come.
Then, as an act of semi finality
I throw the knife into the ocean
The blade that never left his side
The edge that saved me, silver and proud
The point that killed him, red and broken.
Into the cloth, with my half of his heart,
Then into the water, no longer visible
Except for the sapphire hilt as it floats to its master.
A sharp tounged wind tells me to leave
But through the pain of loss, I defy
And stand another teary moment
At the resting place where my lost love lies.
Author notes
I wrote about picture 3.
A contest entry
- What do the pictures say...or do they SCREAM? by Lady Eventide.
600 points, ended October 27, 2007, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
X_X
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Lions Have Pride!
Nice alliteration throughtout, with a very clear vision and quite creative....excellent imagery...I love the vibe I get from this pleasing poem...and then I read again and found things I had missed in the first reading...I can actually say I really did enjoy reading this piece
~Lilac
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Lions Have Pride!!
Runs in...Sorry I am a little late
-takes deep breaths-
Powerful piece You have penned and the emotions grab~
Marvelous words weaved
The Last line just swells the eyes
Congratulations on Your HM!
-Throws confetti-
Woooooooooo Hoooooooooooo
Thank You for sharing Your Talent and Spirit~
Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet Soul
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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-picks confetti out of hair-
Haha. Thanks Desire!
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LIONS HAVE PRIDE!!!
Wow! What a great job you did on this one! I love the story like tale in this one. It is a sad tale, but done wonderfully!! Congrats on the Honorable Win! Well deserved!!
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LIONS HAVE PRIDE!
This is beautiful, a lovely story I want to know more of. I love this type of gothic Viking type of tale, and this has a Poe-like quality too. Very mournful, full of wonderful phrases and depth of emotion.
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Wow. I really enjoyed the story you had for the picture you chose, but don't forget:
Put prompt name, picture, and your name in author comments. Also, put in the time that you wrote this (morning, afternoon, evening), and where you were when you wrote it.
Other than that and a few typos, I really liked this story. If it were longer, I would read it...like, if you went back in time and told more about the characters and stuff. Great job, poet. I enjoyed it. -
Quite Interesting
This is a very well defined well penned poem and I liked this poem. its very unique and interesting., okay a few parts really got to me though and I need to add a suggestion for you:
I through the knife into the ocean
I think you meant throw? I throw the knife into the ocean is that whatcha meant?
The point the killed him, red and broken.
I think you meant that: The point that killed him, red and broken. is that whatcha meant?
But through the pain of loss, I defy
One more suggestion: switch it around
But through the loss of pain, I defy
I think that sounds alot better
Over all your poem was quite well penned. I merely suggested what I did because I believe this cane become a trophy contender but I was helping yuo so the poem made more sense and the flow was more smooth. over all its an awesome poem sweetie and you did a remarkable job. any ways Good Luck in the contest. 
Signed, Paul
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Oh, and I mean "pain of loss" as in "I have pain becuase I lost my love..." not 'I have no pain'...but thanks anyway
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Erg. thanks for catching those damn spelling errors for me...I appreciate it. I need to work on my proofreading
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