Siena
By: Tralika M.
Paint brushes
Similar touches
Reveal beautiful colors
Shoulders relax
Your looking in to my map
You disappear before me zap
I clap my hands
Feet speaking relaxation in sands
I am viewing the eye sight of this land
Looking for a woman
Name Soft Tears
She speaks in harmony as she has
No hate towards me leaving behind a stressful army
I am no longer a zombie
that is washed up with hatred on me
She spoke in cool colors
Like no other
But she left residues
Leaving behind her memories
Of my heart sunk in her scornful
Cemetery.
Author notes
Siena
Siena
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Deep!
I loved this poem. It really is very good.
The drama and melancholy is fascinating.
The imagery is magnificent. Great work!
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thanks
sxy99
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Nicely done, Tralika
As Julia said, a good beginning. I felt the next to last line was a little clumsy, I feel it should be "sunk" instead of "sink", but that is just semantics. Otherwise, you painted a vivid picture here.
Your write had an overall gloomy feel to it, but with rays of hope coming through. Kind of reminded me of an addict trying to break the habit...
Overall good job,
Brazos
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thanks for commenting
sxy99
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this was really a good headstart wonderful piece here you written and let no one tell you different as opinions speak in different waves my theroy anyway you did a awesome job
juju
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