I feel your fingers on my arm, and I shiver.
You get under my skin like a welcome sliver.
Those baby blues of yours hypnotize me.
Filling my vision so they're all I see.
I feel your breath, hot on my ear
Whispering my name...it's moments like this that make everything clear.
Oh, I love you, I need you.
You've made every single one of my dreams come true.
Baby, Use me, Abuse me.
In that way that burdens me with glee.
Take me, break me in.
We're only young once, so why not live in sin?
I want you, you've filled me with passion!
Make me yours baby, it's the new fashion!
Your breath, it tickles my thighs...
I can't help but fill the air with heated sighs.
Your loving takes me to a new level.
Baby, if this is hell, you're one heavenly devil!
Author notes
Just something I wrote while I was at work today...You like?
....I do.
<3BD9
Thoughts? Comments? Puhlease?
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Nice oxymoron for the title
I thought that some of the lines went a little sketchy because of the way I had to say them. Some went really short then skipped to long.
I feel your breath, hot on my ear
Whispering my name...it's moments like this that make everything clear.
I thought that some of the line went a little verbose. The second line, I mean. the first one was OK...
I honestly can say that I didn't like the last two lines that much.
Your loving takes me to a new level.
Baby, if this is hell, you're one heavenly devil!
For some reason, devil and level didn't work for me. it sounds odd in my ears but that may just be me. All around it's an Ok poem. -
haha i love this! very well done, this really brought a smile to my face and brought back quite a few memories. great work this is brillant
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Very good poem but the rhyme scheme in a part was off I feel your breath, hot on my ear
Whispering my name...it's moments like this that make everything clear.
Oh, I love you, I need you.
You've made every single one of my dreams come true.
Other wise dirty pretty good -
i liked the line : those baby blues of yours hypnotize me. i've always liked describing eyes that way. it makes them seem real. does that make sense? lol. good job.
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aw i really like the last line.. i thought it was reallycute..lol
great write
<3
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omg. in love <3 its a bookmark. lol
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I like it.In ways it was true,it tells you life is short so saver the time you have.
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this is nice. i love the feeling i got while reading.... though i can't relate much to these kind of poetry but since it was written at work i can say that u either love this person that u think ab out him/her all day or that this fantasy of urs is killing u softly up until u fulfill it....
anyhow, nie wirte and keep up the good woork.
(i would have used other words in this poem to give it full impact...)
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It gets better
the first part seemed a little bleak and boring. But after the lines with the exclamation points where you yell, your feelings are yeilded, it makes the poem come alive. It's beautiful because it's honset and true. There's no tricks anymore, like in the beginning
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I loved the last 4 lines, especially the last two. They sum up some experiences and thoughts on my ex alright
oh yes, we had some fun. But anyway, you're not interested in that. Neither am I really, I'm such an 
. But yeah, cute write.
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This was a really great poem you are really talented! greak work
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Wow, kinda caught my attention cause a couple days ago I posted "When Heaven Went to Hell" but after reading this I realized the two are nothing alike.
I really like the strong emotions of need you are conveying in this poem. However I feel like if this is in the DP category the rhyme scheme needs to be a little more unexpected.
The last lines were great, good job. -
Loved It!!
nice write, your flow is perfect and the emotions you intertwined into the flow is amazing. I liked the beginning the most but the whole write captivates. =D awesome write.
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wow, this is an amazing piece, i love the whole thing. My favorite part is Your loving takes me to a new level.
Baby, if this is hell, you're one heavenly devil!
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