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Weeping Willows

I lay underneath the willow’s tear
Sky unbound above
My dog sleeps near
there’s naught to hear
and at last I know true love

For all a man needs is
a dog and some trees
to be content for the years to come

A contest entry

Be critical in your review, I want to get better and any advice will help

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Comments


  • Laughing Buddh
    January 13, 2008

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    cool........short,sweet,simple,yet profound........just the way i like them!no wonder u won the contest.......congrats.


  • autarky
    October 19, 2007

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    This was a beautiful and perfectly simplistic write. I'm impressed. The flow was also excellent, though it's a little broken in the last line of each stanza. I love this.

    Breathtaking!


  • Tarja
    October 18, 2007

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    I love the simplicity in this... the message and the length go together really well. I think the only thing that was a little off was the flow, it was kinda choppy. Other than that this was a well written piece.