She’s pretty much robotic now,
The tears stream down her face
As she pretends they aren’t there and never were.
They
Don’t
Exsist.
And neither does she.
Just another nameless face,
she ridden with guilt and drowning in depression,
she's dying inside.
And if LIFE ever happens to her,
She will die and it will be too soon.
Dysphoria.
And
She
Doesn't
Exsist.
What does my poem say to you?
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
Cool plays with structure. Cool rhythm. It's bold and up front, just a portrait of pain. The background goes overboard though. And I personally prefer images and metaphors, but I SUPPOSE that this works too.
-
Did not SCREAM in my mind as I read it, LOL! But it is a very excellent write!
-
I appreciate the abstract style. Very depressing and beautiful...
-
this has a really intense tone to it. i love it.
-
'This is very wild. The beginning drew me right into it.
Eminence flow to the the writers senses, a flowing immediacy to the very description of the numbness that exists in the character. The style in which it was written in made it that much more...thats just way it is...sorta of direct and final.This was interesting so it is Art to me.
BLESSINGS GYPSY,
LOWELL POE -
beautiful
Beautifully tragic nd brilliantly portrayed. 'She’s pretty much robotic now,
The tears stream down her face' and 'And if LIFE ever happens to her,
She will die and it will be too soon.' are great great lines!
-
this is a darkly beautiful write with defined emotional content. the discontentment is palpable. nice even flow, i like that there are no jagged edges and no emo activity. she is miserable but she moves on. it has a definate maturity to it. good job
-
its very beautiful in a tragic way. the very middle stanza is a bit more intense than the rest,but overall its even flowed and nice. the last bit i really liked.
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
