I look with horror at what is in front of me
Blood on my hands
Screaming in my ears
Finding myself being dragged away
Feeling someone's cold hands
Being thrown on the frosted ground
Seeing foggyness
Dry blood on my hands and clothes
Sirens wailing in my ears
I lie on the frosted ground and close my eyes and cry myself to sleep
I find myself being picked up again being put in a bed that isn't too soft
I still see the blood
I still hear the screaming
I feel Uncomfortable on this hard bed
Strange people are all around me
Trying to find out whats wrong with me
They try to talk to me
Author notes
Please tell me what you think.I just wrote this from my head.
A contest entry
- Pain. by forbidden-colour.
300 points, ended November 13, 2007, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Upgrade your Honorable Mention to Gold Silver or Bronze (contest by sinnastarr) by Sinnastarr.
700 points, ended November 5, 2007, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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wow. you are very expressive. i like the part about the foggyness


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This was a good write. You portrayed your thoughts very well in this piece. You painted a very vivid picture. A lot of dark imagery. This poem also had some good flow to it. I can see why this poem won an honorable trophy.
All and all, a very good read.
Thank you so much for entering my contest and I wish you the best of luck. -
It's a bit dark and needs more put to it to be able to tell a clear story, but maybe the mystery makes the piece!
Not enirely sure.
Thank you for entering.
x -
I love the dark imagery in this. The overall feeling of this was surreal, the images intense, but highly muted. You did an excellent job.
Welcome to AP and welcome to Today's Poem.
Good luck in the contest.
Write on.
~*~SP~*~
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Wow
that wasn't bad at all, nice peice. . .
~*peace*~

1 - 5 of 5




