I know only the dark stars,
The black stars
The rogue stars
The dim stars
The stars that do not have a name,
the stars that do not shine.
And it is a simple task to set them all aflame
to cover these scars with shame.
When the day surrenders
And the grotto fills with games,
And dancing nymphs,
Pale silhouettes against a bright blue moon,
Flee through Her shadows
The dark star looking on,
Coldly in the dark.
The satyr in the park
With flute and string,
Singing with soothing dreams.
Surrounded by innocent laughter,
The white thigh gleams
In the slate moon’s holy light.
I know only the rogue star
The one without a path,
I know only the black star
The one without a past.
I know the stream where laughter falls,
I know the spring where tears abide,
I know the stars that hide.
I know the words that cried.
I know the winds that sighed.
Author notes
Written October 10th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- A Soul's Sigh.. by Juliet D.
300 points, ended October 16, 2003, 46 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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This is quite beautiful. Its the stars for me no doubt. Obsessive about them really. Moon too. Night sky in general .. probably told you that somewhere already.
She knows an awful lot, doesn't she. -
Oh wow. Beautiful and chilling. The line that really stuck with me:
And it is a simple task to set them all aflame
to cover these scars with shame.
ah yes, I've had my own "simple task", as many have. This poem sent shivers down my spine- remarkable job! -
My favorite lines were:
The white thigh gleams
In the slate moon’s holy light.
I also loved the lines:
And it is a simple task to set them all aflame
to cover these scars with shame.
because they tied so beautifully with the previous lines. The repetition of the different stars was beautiful to read and understand. The aformentioned lines added a closer to these lines, that's why I loved them.
My only critique is that you have two images of the moon. The first image of the moon, as pale blue is not as effective as your second usage. Compare:
Pale silhouettes against a bright blue moon,
or
The white thigh gleams
In the slate moon’s holy light.
Maybe you could pick a different image for the first usage of moon instead. I dunno...I am always looking for writers to expand their vocab, use of metaphors and imagery. I loved the rhythm of the introductionand ending stanzas. Both drew me into the poem and helped me gain a sense of closure...I sighed after reading this poem.
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After reading you poem, i could not keep it off my mind, you are increadably talented. your words really spoke to me with a new form of the light/dark mixture. i thank you for the enlightenmen
t.
May the grace of the Valar be passed to you.
A____
Edited on Oct 14, 10:09 p.m. because ''. -
I'm so glad you entered, I do always enjoy your poetry
The white thigh gleams
In the slate moon’s holy light.
**this image stuck with me a while after reading.. surreal
This spiritual outlook of yours is gorgeously sad. It seems to me from this write that you have an old soul.
thanks much for your entry, bonne chance
~Scarlet
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Oh Lute, your words rolled like velvet off my tongue. I am guessing you are "the dark star looking on", never coming close enough to "Her" to share in the games and laughter. I too know where that stream lies and the chilling noise of sighing winds. Thank you for this personal look inside your mind, your style has a quality that really grabs hold of me with two strong hands and shakes the words into my head.
Kristine -
Beautiful images from my favourite mythology. One question - 'flute'? Reed instruments were the usual wind instruments,
though 'aulos' etc. is usually translated as 'flute'. Not that it matters. I've just spent quite a bit of time recently trying to find out what ancient Greek music actually sounded like so it's on my mind.
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