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you and me


I felt the beat of your heart smelled the breath of your air
our love was selfish so wrong but felt so right yet unfair
my best friend my lover the one that made we
wanted to move on no tears no pain just broke free
I watched from a distance as I slowly faded from your mind
crying heart destroyed I with all the memory's left behind
going from being so close to knowing each others every thought
The passing kisses, the fear in our world of getting caught
to Days turn to weeks no words are ever spoken
weeks turn to months my heart shatters beyond broken
I slowly start to regain some control still weeping in depression
They come at me expecting my words of a confession
My eyes slowly open to all the wrong
blinded by your love even if your still gone
I deny the rumors inside i feel myself again falling apart
needing to move on but not knowing where to start
then one moment your back the hurting turns to anger
the man that i knew and loved is now a passing stranger
Every word spoken is out of hate inside im slowly dying for your kiss
I finally ask if I'm ever yours the one you ever miss
hope to reach out of the death of my soul
you slowly answer with a brief no
I feel the tears as they fall to my face close my eyes feeling of slow death
you come at me with hurtful words of regret
I was nothing but one mistake
This has became an obsession my mind can not escape
sleeping is no option dreams are filled with moments with you
Not able to speak of the pain to no one not knowing what to do
One day you pass the words with a kiss ill never leave you again
I fall for all the lies to beheld in your arms like then
wanting to cry knowing its really the end
i let you hold me close as i shut my eyes and pretend
you love me you need me and you want me like you did back then
a day passes no words are spoken like before
then once again you come back through my door
I have the pain of needing you, you have the pleasure of using me
One day you will learn that my love was real
I need for you to leave me now let me heal.
the shattered heart you broke will always be yours
I just cant let you come in and out leaving me always wanting more
I once felt the beat of your heart smelled the breath of your air
our love was selfish so wrong but felt so right yet unfair
my best friend my lover the one that made we
wanted to move on no tears no pain just broke free
I watched from a distance as I slowly faded from your mind
crying heart destroyed I with all the memorys left behind
No more we
now just a you and a me

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8
  • EmeraldDaze
    October 29, 2007

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    You need to use some punctuation or something because your words began to run together, especially after the first 30 or so lines. I don't see why this is in the adult category. Over all a pretty good poem


  • xblakxrosexremainsx
    October 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    lovable

    this poem is cute and tender!!! i wont deny i was lazy to read it lol, but when i did I LOVED IT!!!!!! and it expresses so many emotions.
    try playing with the stanzas a little bit. if you place is all straight down it makes people lazy to read it and well, this is such a great piece that shouldnt be missed.
    you did an amazing job

    this is my favorite part:
    "This has became an obsession my mind can not escape
    sleeping is no option dreams are filled with moments with you
    Not able to speak of the pain to no one not knowing what to do
    One day you pass the words with a kiss ill never leave you again "
    i dont know but it stuck into me!
    Amazing job thanks for this great entry <3


  • 2lullabyhaven
    October 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is good. Filled with sentiment-thanks for entering it into my contestlol


  • trista gold member
    October 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Sadly, I can really relate to this poem. Love, especially an on-again, off-again one, is like a roller coaster ride of emotions. You express that well in your story.

    This is a bit hard to follow and I think having it broken into stanzas would have helped with that, just to let the reader pause here and there to really digest what you're saying. The flow isn't perfect either, but there is a ton of genuine emotion.

    Thanks so much for your entry and good luck.

    ~J.

  • beenthere
    October 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    i think i like it but for my tastes it is just too long.


  • karma-n-peace
    October 18, 2007

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    Love can be so rotten and so beautiful too.
    I like how you express your desire to be free of the pain but still ache for the company of your love.
    I noticed a few things, such as punctuation and capitalization. It would be easier to read, a nicer flow if you would fix these few things.
    I would like to re read it once this has been done.
    Nothing special or too fancy just some basic stuff.
    Thanx for entering!


  • simply-sara
    October 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    great poem


  • BrokenHeartOnceMore
    October 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is really good, it's hard to believe that this is your first love poem to ever write.. You're a natural at it! I actually can relate to this.. I love it to death~ BRAVO! Great write

1 - 8 of 8