These shortening hours which lead the sun astray
and glue the fallen leaves upon the street,
renew the pallet where old dreams display
the child in ageless wonder; crunching feet,
upon the harvest of the autumn, dance
beneath uncertain hills, their colours strewn
across the journey. Clouds of breath entrance
a landscape flattered by the harvest moon.
What if the winter whispers in the chill
of dusk and dawn, it too will, passing, fade.
Here, beauty would each memory distil,
condensing sunlight in each hour displayed.
And here, upon the season's changing face,
autumnal dreams the brightening stars, too, trace.
A contest entry
- A contest for Sonnets on the change of seasons ONLY by ecrivain01.
450 points, ended October 27, 2007, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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pretty
I love the enjambment of your lines, the rhyme seems always to fall mid-sentence. The rhyme of strewn/moon is unusual, well done. This is an altogether favorable view of autumn. I enjoyed reading. Good luck!
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The more I read this ...
the more I like it. However, "leafs" bothers me a lot. I suppose being an editor might have something to do with it.
You mentioned an accent. Where do you come from? -
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am from edinburgh but have moved around a little. it's one of those words (have changed it for the moment - i think that you are correct, if it throws you a little maybe also others - but maybe not permanently:-)) that sounds differently when i say it as regards spelling. am glad you like the sonnet.
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Very nice ...
but it would be "fallen leaves" in line two.
Also, here:
And here, upon the seasons changing face, (season's)
Otherwise, good job.
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leafs is a deliberate mispelling. it's to do with my accent i suppose, the v sounds wrong to me and so most of the time i spell the plural with an f (unless i'm teaching of course). the apostrophe is an irksome mistake - thanks for pointing it out...
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