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Eye of the Beholder

I gazed into the window
and saw all there was to hell
there was a faithful widow
with all the rage to tell
of joy hidden in the rain
and greed that chose to sell
a womb barren as the plain
where courage always fell
in the midst of all the pain
I realized this was the cost
in place of love was a bloody stain
by this I knew I'd lost

Author notes

It was hard coming up with a name for this poem. So I asked a few people what they thought it was about. When they all gave me pretty different answers, which were all different from my own, I decided to call it this. Since everyone saw it differently. So when you read this leave a comment telling what you think it's about.

Username is NobleWolf

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Anguas-Confusion gold member
    January 8, 2008
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    Very well written, such emotion there and such intellect that you show in the use of your language and the words you have chosen. So very well done, I really enjoyed reading this it was a pleasure. Thank you so much for adding it to my contest, I wish you luck. Keep penning xX


  • leander Moderators member
    November 16, 2007

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    I think this is about losing the one you love? Anyway, this is quite short but there are some vivid images inside the lines well done!
    Thanks for entering the contest, I wish you the very best
    Leander


  • grand theft autumn
    November 1, 2007

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    your originality is refreshing- you have an exceptionally good vocabulary for someone your age, and it keeps what you write from sounding cliche; which is hard to do when you stay very true to a traditional rhyme scheme and structure and especially hard to do when most of your poetry gravitates toward the dark side of things. once again this is short and lacks a lot of description, but that seems to be your style, which is okay as long as you continue to do it effectively. i'll offer the same constructive criticism once more for this piece- try adding punctuation. it's easy to neglect because it doesn't seem necessary when you've got something broken up into lines, but it can really enhance the flow of a poem and help to ensure that it sounds to others who read it the way it sounds in your head.


  • Miss Faerie Greeters member
    October 31, 2007

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    Welcome to Allpoetry

    Wow... this is brilliant. Just the use of language. I usually detest rhyme, but this flow is brilliant. The use of words are well chosen. "Womb barren" is just excellent.

    Well done and enjoy the site
    Faerie
    Site Greeter


  • birch
    October 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i really like the idea behind this. the first two lines were my favorites. it was a good way to start a piece. dusty

1 - 5 of 5