Pulling off fingernails
is a type of torture
to remove protection
where one needs it most
the part of ourselves
we touch (everyone) with
You've burnt up
You've gone
Taken my fingernails with you.
All there is left to do
Is glue on your ashes in their place.
Author notes
So sorry for the emo gross torture poetry, I just had this really visual image in my head of nails being pulled off (which totally makes me cringe too) and I had to get it written down.
A contest entry
- No Rules (NO ADULT/EROTICA I CANT READ) by Nicotine Eyes.
525 points, ended November 15, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - heartbreak by live in love.
500 points, ended November 8, 2007, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Emotions. by lilblueeyesmine1978.
450 points, ended December 24, 2007, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
It doesn't feel like it flows. Suggestions? How does it feel to you?
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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makes me cringe too though there is a lot of emotion here thansk for sharing with me and thanks for entering my contest though it may be a while before i get this terrible picture of fingernails being ripped off out of my mind
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Wow. Ok. So this may be emo. But it's so... intense, metaphorical, mean, and gross. So as not to be mistaken, I mean these as compliments. I find a poem that makes me feel so much (and NOT the regular emotions a poem makes me feel) is well done. I like it how the fingernail part is almost literal but still just a symbol, and a very good and original one at that. If there is one thing I feel your poem might benefit from, it would be just a little more word economy. I feel it would flow better without some linking words, if you can find another way of linking your thoughts together. But very nice. And the ending is so dark, and yet not like your usual dark poetry. It speaks of revenge, but you are very subtle about it.
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ouch that hurts great write shows deep painful emotions i wish you the best of luck in the contest as well as in your future writes keep the penn flowing
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wow i Like this alot. Best of luck
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wooo... its a really good right
full of pain and all (not that i like this stuff but i just mean its really well written!)
nice imagery.. thumbs up!!!!
I can feel hurt from this poem.. tis grrr---eat!!
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It doesn't need to flow...the sharpness, the pain, the deep metaphors give it it's rhymnth, not old fashioned candence...
I rip my fingernails off when i'm nervous, scared, or frightened...or just angry at myself...the way you put it was so poignant,
"to remove protection
where one needs it most
the part of ourselves
we touch (everyone) with"
I hurt myself, to isolate myself...and because it's a horrid habit...you put it perfectly. like the better form of a "cutting poem" shit, I hate cutting poems...
~Hippie
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To be honest I don't really like this poem myself, I just had this gross feeling in my head one day and I wrote this and the feeling left my head and went into the poem. Yay theraputic writting.
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it reminded me of me...gross, but I liked it...
~Hippie
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how do you type poems without fingernails wouldnt that hurt
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Figuratively the fingernails are gone, ie the person who left took the part of me that protects me when I 'touch' someone body, and now it hurts to be close, or at least that is supposed to be what the poem conveys.
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