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Age

 

Age is not only golden sunset scene.
Age is ache and heartache, anger, spleen,
impotence, frustration, loneliness
balancing what is with that which might have been.

Age and grace g[r]o[w] hand in hand  ? Odds lean
on empathy where love and friendship lean
together, each each helping to progress
towards dark night, light steady, bright and keen.

If Youth knew, or Age could, - that ‘if’ obscene !
Yet compromise with Time is never seen.
If immortality could ever bless
existence, might not Death become the dream ?

Author notes


words in [b]rackets have several meanings
g[r]o[w] grow, go, or row,


Odds lean odds slim

In a list

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16
  • littlefishone
    September 19

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    I really love this piece it truly grabbed me, which is interesting, because it is not my ususal choice of poetry. The first line in particular is extreemly compelling, taking the reader by the hand, and saying hey listen, this will be you some day, saying make sure your life does not leanve you with a list of what ifs. The second verse was very thought provoking too, especially upon reading the foot note about the brackets, I have never come accross this idea before, but I was left with an image of two old and dear friends, or maybe lovers, rowing downstram, carried by a current, over which they had no control, with no idea of where they are heading, and wishing they could find their way back to shore, which is of course their youth. But time waits for no man, and we are led to our own conclusions about immortality in the very last lines, and we wonder, if immortality was on the cards, would we choose it, would death be our dream, or indeed our nightmare.The imagry is truly beautiful, I pictured autumn . This was a really inspiring piece, possibly one of the best I have had

    . Rewarded 8


  • michichoeret
    July 28

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    wow

    nicely done
    and loved the ending.
    nice idea. death becoming the dream.
    nice spin. something to be thought about.
    maybe even very comforting thesis.

    . Rewarded 4


  • Manoj Sanyal
    July 27
    Edit | Reply
    well expressed.
    Best wishes and good luck,

  • Maxboy gold member
    July 22

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    Very Nice!! Goes well with the contest.

    Thank you for your entry.

  • Clovis6790Curious silver member
    July 13

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    Superb

    Ah, 'tis a very fine write, indeed. As a Senior Citizen, I see what you talk about on a daily basis. Once one passes age 55, the years go by 10 times faster and one's body doesn't necessarily function as it did in one's youth. No, for us Seniors, much of the time the so called Golden Years are nothing but a myth.
    By the way, I live in a Senior Citizens Residential Facility, where ages range from 65 to 100.
    For those who might be unaware of what challenges you may face as you grow old. Here's a link to Wikipedia's article about old age: (Read it and weep!)

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Senior_citizen
  • Clovis6790Curious silver member
    July 4
    Edit | Reply

    Superb

    "Ain't dat de truf!" An excellent write, indeed.
    Imagery, rhythm, and rhyme are just fine. Here's a link to Wikipedia's article on Old Age:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Senior_citizen

    As a Senior Citizen, this was a rather poignant article indeed.

    Enjoy your youth while you may, 'cause some day you will lose it.

  • Shenanigans
    June 6

    Edit | Reply
    great write! love the go/grow bit, too. Lots of truth here, and so well expressed! Keep it up and best of luck in the contest
  • celadia
    May 23
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    This poem is really something, so thoughtful and poignant and sad.

  • carole21
    November 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    curious

    nice flow and points of comparison . . like "age is ache and heartache, anger, spleen" . . "balancing what is with that which might have been" . . always hard to look back . . "Yet compromise with Time is never seen" . . good write . . !!


  • second-born
    November 1, 2007

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    this is such a very insightful poem...moreover I loved its form and flow...thank you for sharing a very fantastic write...

  • Mirthryl
    November 1, 2007

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    Enjoyable poem. I really enjoyed the aaba rhyme scheme with all the b's rhyming together. The last line of stanza one does not keep the meter of the rest of the poem. Good reality check for the "golden sunset scene".

    Thought-provoking final two lines!


  • Lily otv
    October 20, 2007

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    Though vessel shells in sunset scene may creak
    on time’s ebb tide, sail through tomorrows bleak,
    what might have been, what is to come, adrift,
    today’s lone flow lifts, swells, seems dreams to shift.

    Navigate white horse plumes spirits high,
    fathom sunshine compass, bask blue sky,
    breast surf immortal, spurning sorrow's wave
    Davy unlocks time's plough, now laugh at grave.


  • spanishrose
    October 18, 2007

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    An ageless piece

    I liked reading this poem I had to read three more times. I like the ending existence, might not Death become the dream. May your words keep floating like a swan on a lake.


  • Providence
    October 18, 2007

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    Yes it does seem like that sometimes. I've observed several generations age and pass in this lifetime. Mine will soon too.

    Marvelously written. Jonathan.

    Marianne

  • Clovis6790Curious silver member
    October 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Superb/intriguing

    A very fine write indeed. I find it to be reminescent of John Donne's, "Death Be Not Proud", with which you might already be familiar. For those who are not, here's a link to click on:
    http://www.bartleby.com/105/72.html

    And Dylan Thomas' "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night" Here's a link for this one:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Do_not_go_gentle_into_that_good_night

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