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silver fish ~ ~

Missing image

from across those luring lakes,

            a blanket of wild-seeded coreopsis sways, touching your gentle sigh,

     your presence awakens each blossom, touched by natures' mortal grace ~

 

such angelic beauty you possess,

            raptures of sensory engulfing each synapsis of mine,

     encased within your kindled flame, i swim with passion, stroked from embers lust ~

 

gather our hearts together,

             watch, as they shoot over ripples from currents tide, soulmates skipping beats ~

 

      wispy whirlwinds swirl, leaves unturned, now scattered on new horizons ~ 

 

mossy rocks filtering freshness up stream,

              silver fish echo off suns rays, foamy froth covering us in joyous tears of mist,

       babbling brook cascades down, into the abyss, where our journey resides ~

 

swim with me my finned lover,

               destiny calls out, the oceans request your powers,

        the whales are singing our tune, poseidon, awaits his daughters ceremony,

 

                                                              .....as i,

                                                                          .....await you ~

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Patpowers silver member
    October 21, 2007

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    Congratulations on another fine work and on your trophy Arkbear! Beautiful and compassionate as I read this. THANKS AGAIN


  • trista gold member
    October 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Hi Bear,

    I think it almost unfair that you've entered this in my contest...you've obviously learned quite well in the last month or so from the PO contests what I like to see in poetry. The format of this was a bit distracting at first, but the words hold so, so much imagery that it quickly drew me in. From metaphor to depth of feeling, this is just excellent. Thanks so much for your entry and good luck!

    ~J.


    • Arkbear gold member
      October 20, 2007

      Edit | Reply

      Good morning Julie ~

      First off, thank you for the Silver and opportunity to enter your wonderful contest....as I hope it has lifted your spirits

      ...also.....thank you for your honest review and critique...my format is a bit....different, however, I am glad you were able to overcome it and pick up on your Flow

      I hope this finds you well today, as I have just returned from Camp Pendleton and ready to begin another POW!

      Once again, thank you my dear Friend for the points, Trophy and opportunity to pen *silver fish*



      Bear ~


  • Desire gold member
    October 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful!!

    Love the imagery You have released from Your quill and penned to papyrus
    Beautiful images to stain the Mind~

    captured in this verse You weaved

    Did I say I loved this already
    Wooooooooo hooooooooooo


    Love the line:
    swim with me my finned lover~

    This one melts hearts
    Thank You for sharing Your Talent my Brother
    with the swift pen
    Woooooooo Hoooooooooo
    Many blessings to You in the contest
    Best wishes too
    and much love~ Desire~*~


  • Frozentearz
    October 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    phwwwwwwwwwwww my Dear Bear woooooooooooosh..
    you make falling in love with you a dream
    wonderful wonderful penning,
    Love and Light,
    Frozentearz


  • YoursTrulyJulie gold member
    October 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Beautifully penned !

    This is very well done Great metaphor and imagery. I really enjoyed the read Well done, and best of luck in this contest

1 - 6 of 6