Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Opal eternity in faux love.

Ruby birth,
  silver death,
Kisses of amber,
  and seemingly golden love.

Crystal promises
  of diamond deception,
Bronze bait
  for onyz enslavement.

Opal eternity in faux love.

Author notes

Hmmm... The image made me think of gemstones, so this was the result. I would love constructive critsism and suggestions.

A contest entry

Constructive critisism and comments are appreiciated.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Bleedblack13
    January 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Amazizing!!

    I loved this poem! It flowed beautifully when you read it in writer's club! The only thing wrong with it is your spelling of the word 'onyx'. Haha! Sorry to be THAT GUY. Your word choice is wonderful. It seems carefully, yet gracefully put.


  • libithina
    December 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Loved the use of ruby, silver, 'crystal promises of diamond deception' 'Faux love' brilliant Lib x

  • Mercury Rising
    December 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    A very 'charming' poem that I believe is about the deceptiveness of jewels and gems as substitutes for authentic love. your imagery is both clear-cut and elusive, similar to gemstones themselves, and your poem was a delight to read. Best of luck in my contest.

    David


  • Glasyalabolas
    October 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very vivid word use and imagery. Not only as the picture prompt had the mirror but also the dragon in the image, it is very evocative of precious metals and stones. Dragons in particular have always visually been remeniscent of this, with their scales like armour and eyes like jewels.

    Good write (wish it was longer though).


  • Southern Darling
    October 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Gorgeous, Charm. The image made you think of gems, your poem made me think of Bloodstone. Lovely imagery, darling.

    • Charmicious
      October 17, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank ye....
      The hardest part must have been the exact way to word it, their were so many choices.


  • Zerstort
    October 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply

1 - 7 of 7