It rained the whole of last night, dearest.
The banyan tree past our window
Swished and swayed in the storm.
How bleak the wet luminance of my wait!
No streetlamp blinked
On the riddle of your returning trail
Over the desolate stretches of the night.
My eyes stood sentinel
The whole night, dearest,
For the faraway flicker of your torch
Hurrying home...
Only fireflies wheeled lost and hopeless in the gale.
And there was lightning too, dearest.
White stallions carting the chariot of faceless shadows
Down the valley of my gloom.
My heart leapt at each thunderclap...
Did I hear,
Muffled in its rumble,
Your fumble at the gate...
Knock at the door?
Author notes
'Sabka Malik Ek,' Charishma. I thought I could cheer you up a bit recapturing how I used to feel when I was your age. Picture shows my wife and child as clicked by me some 17 years ago.
A contest entry
- He Is Calling You...Pay Homage to Shirdi Sai Baba by Sai Babas Lotus.
550 points, ended November 9, 2007, 4 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Submissions for Poetry Magazine. by Norman Crabtree.
745 points, ended November 11, 2007, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - the ocean by Guerrero.
900 points, ended January 9, 2009, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
aww. very good..good luck
-
A very nice poem..
Nice picture too..
-
WOW! What a beautiful picture and lovely full of emotion poem. Thank you for the kind thought of cheering me up. Blessed be. I was struck on reading "dearest" in L1..Sai used to call me "dearest", you know. I will miss that no matter where I go and whomsoever I marry, if I do. I like the use of assonance and alliteration in this poem. Wonderfully striking imagery throughout the poem of rain, the storm, lightning and no flickering street lights even. I really like your word choice throughout the poem. I absolutely love the last stanza..Sometimes, I do go to my gate and think he is back, oh he is there, ah he has come, but alas...as the old saying goes, "If wishes were horses, beggars would ride". Thank you for participating in my contest!
All the best,
Charishma
-
Thank you for entering my contest!
bloody brilliant... i just love the imagery of the storm swaying the trees but also how that reflects not only the nature of the storm but the emotion of the person experiencing it.
Good luck in the future. -
-
Thank you, Norman. This is a real life situation recollected. You know how it is when you are in love, don't you? Old men used to have young hearts palpitating for them once upon a time. Cheers.
-
-
Absolutely...
Life is incomplete without tears... We may not know the importance of happiness, unless we meet sorrows in our life...
Saddest thoughts are sweetest melodies... Painful moments, life's greatest experiences...
I really enjoyed this poem PV
Lols
Kiddy
-
I like this poem, it is true and full of emotion. Separations are especially painful if we think they should not exist. Your verse has a touching intimacy, as if one is writing to a lover who has left. The photo is beautiful.
PS The imagery of the thunderstorm, lightning and winds is very striking.
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
