Have you ever thought that i love you
Have you ever felt my love inside
Why did you say all those words
Why did you act so different
I call it a game with poison
But when i remember those moments
I feel i was full of emotions
It was not my mistake but you left me alone
I was not asking you to do anything down
But you left me .. you left my emotions
I know you felt it .. and made it poisoned
So i am alone with a dark poized memory of emotion
A contest entry
- Best of the Best 2 by xXFreedom-of-LoveXx.
400 points, ended June 7, 2008, 4 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
please help me to turn to be a better writer
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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Wow
I can feel the hurt and the emotion to this piece, you deserved the gold trophy for you have a heart of gold to match...
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WOW sOul! nice job on poized Emotion. you really portray this state of emotion very well... immediately zaps me to that place. Keep up the good work!
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This is a beautifully sad piece of writing, and reminds me of a past love that I never really did get over. Thanks so much for sharing.
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i love this it reminds me of some people in my life its very deed and really good!!!
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very good and deep write
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Very good soul.
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Wow... This is beautifully pained... The words sink into my heart and bring back memories of my own past... I'm sure many people can relate to this piece.
You did a wonderful job.... Keep up the good work and thanks so much for sharing.
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This is so sad, yet so beautiful. I love how honest it is. Sometimes it's hard to get emotions like that on paper but you did it wonderfully. Great poem!!!
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I call it a game with poison
But when i remember those moments
I feel i was full of emotions
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those lines are awesome!
goodjob on the gold
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this is sad in a beautiful way...I really thought that your choice of accompanying picture was quite apt.
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I'm so sorry this happened to you. I hope you find someone better and well worth your effort in the future.
Many blessings upon you and peace
~Hetha
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A great poem itself, and thanks for sharing with us.i wish you will forget all everything and move ahead with your new life.
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I like the words you used to describe how you felt. Very effective. Congrats on the gold!
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Nice, real nice expression of emotions here. Congrats on the gold.
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I call it a game with poison..awesome...this was a great poem.....
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I love the raw emotion in this poem, it perfectly conveys the pain of a broken heart. I like how you call it a game with poison, a beautiful and fitting metaphor. The pain and sadness in it truly touches the readers emotions. The dark tone fits well, a beautiful piece. I'm glad you were able to create something beautiful out of your pain. The gold was well deserved.
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that person is an idiot- people get crazy you know- the sanest people are insane- it really is like that and our society encourages it. Don't worry - the next girl will see the gem she has and you will be hers!
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your words speak of such sadness and raw emotions of a broken heart from your soul they touch the readers emotional river with so much power but the past does not eqaul the future my friend a wonderful poem
call it a game with poison
But when i remember those moments
I feel i was full of emotions
you left my emotions
I know you felt it .. and made it poisoned
So i am alone with a dark poized memory of emotion
congratulations on your well deserved shiny take care
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really thanks for your caring sweet comment
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tons of emotion. love this. my favorite:]
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I am really happy to see your short but cute comment
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I hope you have found happiness again.
Was a great read thankyou for sharing it with us all and congrats on the gold award. -
Wonderful sharing of deep feelings...congrats on the Gold...very deserving!!!
Blessed be~
Az
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thanks for joining the contest
take care -
One thing i have found common is that your most of the poems are sad, are you alone? did someone hurt you?
anyway i have to make comment about this poem i want to say
Have you ever thought that i love you
Have you ever felt my love inside
Why did you say all those words
Why did you act so different
I call it a game with poison
But when i remember those moments
I feel i was full of emotions
yeah life with emotion and life without emotion is different -
In line three, change "said" to say. Line four is confusing. What do you mean by "out"?
I wonder if, in the last line, you mean "poisoned" rather than "Poised."
The first word in the title should begin with a capital letter and, again, I wonder if you mean "poisoned."
I see some emotion in this poem that wants very much to be communicated to another person. You call this "a game" but I am sure that you take it very seriously.
I wish you well in your writing.
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