Eyes
Peering
From a tree.
Arrows prepared
To take flight and strike
Their targets pre-ordained.
Strangled pawing on the ground
As endangered animals reap
Weak, hoping against odds for
Salvation. Which won't come
To save from rendings
Caused by arrows
From a tree's
Peering
Eyes.
Author notes
Alright, here I introduced a new type of rhyme. It doesn't really rhyme in this one, but it can.
The sequence is syllables:
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
And the letters make a pyramid with the 8 being shorter than the 7's on either side to look something like this.
b
bb
bbb
bbbb
bbbbb
bbbbbb
bbbbbbb
bbbbbb
bbbbbbb
bbbbbb
bbbbb
bbbb
bbb
bb
b
Something like that.
It's called Clastic Mir.
Prolly won't be liked by many, but it's kinda fun.
Just so you know I was actually sticking to a type of writing.
Good luck judging.
A contest entry
- Native...one hour contest by kaibab.
450 points, ended October 17, 2007, 4 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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i like it. it's creative and interesting.
but you know in your explination of how it's rhymed.... usually people use letters. lol, but hey whatever gets the point across.
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I guess I made it confusing. It doesn't have to rhyme. Those are how many syllables are in each line.
The bbbbbb part was to say the general shape it has to have.
The higher the syllable count, the longer the line has to be, except for eight, which has to be shorter than the lines with seven syllables on either side.
I hope this clears things up for all of you....
~Asa of the Poets of Crystal
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I enjoyed reading this
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Ah! I got it! Hehe
Nice form, structurally, it was brilliant;
however I wasnt quite sure what the poem was illustrating.
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Got a late entry...1 hr to judging
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Very cool. I may have to try this one day.
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This is a simply beautiful piece.Alot better then mine
Which I got to hurry an get in thanks for sharing.Much love and goodluck in the contest even though you dont need it.
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Flowing soul our through my window,
conceiving rush in wandering wind,
I read your words as hunted creature,
know earth as my protector
craving kindred souls to rise
as speak the tongue of wolf and flower
seeing love in grounded feather
when autumn blushes leaves no more...
thanks so much for you lovely entry
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nice work hunny i like it...great work...
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