breath is coming in tight short gasps.
heart is breaking, knowing this could be your last.
your screaming is deaf upon the wind,
your pleas for comfort are dead to the world.
oh please, oh please someone save me from this hell,
why god, oh dear heaven make this stop.
working hard at everything yet achieving nothing.
drowning silently in the waters of hate
oh my god, my gods why dose this happen to me?
make me breath make me scream out loud,
holding fast to this world of sorrow.
make us feel, lets us know there is a reason to this madness.
a light behind the pain, screaming to get free…
oh please, oh please someone save me from this hell.
why god, oh dear heaven make this stop.
working hard at everything yet achieving nothing.
drowning silently in the waters of hate
oh my god, my god how did this happen to us?
stand on your feet and cry with me, shouting to the heavens
plead with the almighty for salvation,
the burning fire, twisted metal and pain of this life,
it’s all ended in this night,
i died.
and they screamed
oh my god, my god this can’t be happening.
no not to us, never to me,
Author notes
10.oh my god, my god this can't be happening (sightless angel)
hope it's all right. and now i've fixed the errors.
A contest entry
- poems...what else? by Anonymous Shadow.
600 points, ended November 9, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Love me, or Hate me,
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Wow. Strong and sad.
Glad this is a prompt, that it didn't really happen. Right?
Great write. I loved it, Nice job. I see why it touched/ touches people's hearts. (You know what I'm talking about) Great job, good luck in the contest!
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well....someting similer to this happend but it's mstly a general description of drama.
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intense
hey sightless angel, just your screen name evokes interest.you read my poem giant in my hand and so i wanted to get a feel for what you are about. The work i have read is structured with tremendous disciplne and it is contrasted by extremely stong thoughts. I think some verses could be developed a littel better
" oh my god oh my god how did this happen to us' and then further down" oh my god, oh my godx this can't be happening to us" confuses me as far as "it did happen "already coming before " it is happening"... if you get whatI am Imean... the drama for me was taken away as you went back on a concept that i alraedy felt was said and done.. hope that makes sense.Overall it's deep and I love that. good luck, henry
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well....
Thanks you very much,
when writing this i actually was writing from the point of view that something hd had happened to one, and then in the third stanza was the mourning of the other who watched, and thus they were affected by the pain of their fellow. hence the line "oh my go, my god this can't be happening to us."
the drama sort of spreads as it gets worse. and thats what most people seem to think when bad things happen to a group.
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very sad but very well writin i think thanks for sharing
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