I walked the river trail this morning and a squirrell walked ahead on the top rail of the fence, afraid of me
I slowed down to the exact speed where it took him five jumps between posts and began to hum "Take Five"
one... two... three... one... two...
Don't be afraid, squirrell
Don't be afraid, squirrell
It's just a song, squirrell
It's just a song, squirrell
we made this silent syncopated music for a tenth of a mile before there was a place for him to jump off
but instead of running he hung on the tree waiting for me to finish the song, so I did... in my head... He did not applaud
Then I thought of you as the birds made little miniature fireworks shoot out from the trees and bushes
and as my sneakers made whisps of smoke in the peastone gravel pathway
and the rolling river was silk dragged across your skin
I wondered what they would use that old prison building for now that the dragon had slain the warden and all the guards
I did my Tarzan yell for you
Twice!
I know somewhere you are smiling, as always
In a list
A contest entry
- daily in all the small by NSYancey.
380 points, ended November 1, 2007, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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"and the rolling river was silk dragged across your skin."
You know, I started reading this piece thinking i wouldn't like it, but then I came to the end and loved it. It's interesting to read, though the setup of it is a bit confusing. I wish you might have used a more traditional poetic stanza setup, but then that probably wasn't conducive to the thought. So it's nothing to worry about.
Beautiful writing. Thank you very much for entering!
Have a nice day, and good luck,
Nick
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It is written to several people I thought of along my walk. So, the style changes to accommodate each. Thanks for the kind words.
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i thought it would never end. man...dang. j/k! enjoyed it...it was like waltzing into a house covered with a "circus tent" and taking a few deep breaths. fantastic. i'm gonna read it again(for real) (i really did love it.)
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It's coming to me, smile, I'm catching it in slow motion hahahaa, this really is dripping in consciousness, and just this morning I also had an encounter with a squirrel, but neither he nor I wanted to hear me sing hahahaa good luck in the contest, this is a very good entry lol
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Buautiful story filled with imagery presented with wonderful poetic flow. The metaphore is a bit stronger that I perceive it.
Love,
Amera♥
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Each 'you' in the poem is a different person. I gave them all gifts as I walked. You got a great one.
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Good write. I liked the part about the squirrel. It brought lots of imagery to the piece. I think squirrels are nice creatures. One of my favorite animals. Good luck in the contest.
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"but instead of running he hung on the tree waiting for me to finish the song, so I did... in my head... He did not applaud"
got a visual
lol
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It you were there he'd have seen four nuts, you me and mine.
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Great write! I really like it. It is a wonderful piece. Keep up the wonderful work!
The Other Poet
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