I could try to explain all I’m feeling in muddled metaphors and fumbled words, but it would mean nothing because you’re the only one I care to reach, and the only one I never will;
The Broken halves of my hearts are the open eyes of a brand new girl.
You watched as the world fell against my cheeks in the form of teardrops--you would no longer wipe them away. “Forever is only as long as you make it” you whispered as my eyelashes brimmed with gray tears.(Even dull clouds like mine have a silver lining.)
I wanted you to make me happy so that when someone asked me why I loved you... I’d finally have a reason that made sense. Being used isn’t so bad when you can convince yourself it’s love. (He admitted that after a year I was nothing more than a light switch away from becoming a forgotten face.)
When I asked you to give me something from the heart you gave me nothing.
It took me until now
to realize
that’s all you really had.
Author notes
After sixteen months, he will never take me back.
My heart breaks every single day.
This one goes out to my girl Krysta.
Happy Birthday babe; you make me feel stronger.
In a list
A contest entry
- let's see how far we've come; by Tinkerbell-Or-Me.
1000 points, ended November 1, 2007, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - heartbroken by the one you love by Purple-Meow.
525 points, ended October 23, 2007, 12 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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WOW. True sadness, made me want to cry. So heartbreakingly beautiful. I almost don't know what to say. Thanks for entering, and best of luck!
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this is so amazing.
it's so..sad though. it seriously brought tears to my eyes.
this is a late comment..i'm just catching up on my reading.
great job. <3
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"Being used isn’t so bad when you can convince yourself it’s love"
I've felt this way too many times before...
This was so tragically lovely. All the honestly and sorrowful realizations...
I love the way you write. It's so... I just don't know. Something I really really admire but something I just can't quite describe. You write so comprehensively like I can really feel and understand what you are trying to say. But still it is abstract in a sense. Rich with metaphors and hidden meanings, poetic phrases and imagery.
It's truly beautiful.
~elizabeth~ -
Great Poem!
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oh wow i really love this poem
GOOD LUCK -
WOW I'm so speechless this poem is got to me.
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I could try to explain all I’m feeling in muddled metaphors and fumbled words, but it would mean nothing because you’re the only one I care to reach, and the only one I never will;(( i wrote someting like tat too
))
“Forever is only as long as you make it” you whispered as my eyelashes brimmed with gray tears
((wow tat is great! ya they say forever and when they leave us its our fault we still hold on to tat stupid word))im sry
i know how you feel
that tat makes me sry twice as much
il -
wow, doll. this is some deep shit.
Its eating me up on the inside, I feel your pain in this.
Love it.
You are just amazing.
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he's not worth it.
you are clearly soo much better than him, and he never deserved you.
" I was nothing more than a light switch away from becoming a forgotten face.)"
that's so sad. you are way to good for that.
luff yoo xxx
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wanted you to make me happy so that when someone asked me why I loved you... I’d finally have a reason that made sense. Being used isn’t so bad when you can convince yourself it’s love. (He admitted that after a year I was nothing more than a light switch away from becoming a forgotten face.)
this was amazing..& really hit home for me. it reminds me of my ex, i dont want him back, though, but this is basically the summary of our relationship, lol..
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thank you for sooo much for entering; this was what i needed.
a show of talent; some emotion; anything.
lovely! (: ♥
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wow
I LOVED this and I can relate to it soo much right now. Your writing is amazing and it always touches my heart. Awesome job, Jane
Fave lines:
I could try to explain all I’m feeling in muddled metaphors and fumbled words, but it would mean nothing because you’re the only one I care to reach, and the only one I never will;
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Doesn't sound like you need him back. But you've make something beautiful out of the heartache. Intense imagery. Gray tears/silver linings. Forever is only as long as you make it. The light switch reference. All solid diamonds twinkling in this written jewelry. Wonderful read.
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WOW! This is so very touching and sad. what a heartbreaker!! This line especially hit me hard...
You watched as the world fell against my cheeks in the form of teardrops. Awesome write!!!
GBY
Silvebutterfly
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i had to take a deeep breath and re-read this b/c after the first line i couldnt see through the tears..
i just really couldnt control myself.
this was so damn heartfelt and i cant really function im sorry hun but i really want you to know i feel for you. sorry for this stupid ass comment..
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I wanted you to make me happy so that when someone asked me why I loved you... I’d finally have a reason that made sense.
strong piece
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