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my pain

as my life falls deeper into the firey pits of hell,
i look back and try to find out where my life fell,
as each passing minute my life falls apart more,
i really don't know what door to take,
maybe i'm just one big fucking fake,
i can't take,
i can't get a fucking date,
i just don't care about my life anymore,
i guess my only place to go is the fucking door,
i been so ashamed of my life for so many years,
that's why i cried so many tears,
i never felt love before,
well maybe from all the fucking whores,
fucking bitches threw me out the door and into the street,
but fuck it i don't need a place to sleep,
the curb is fine by me,
or maybe a fucking godam tree,
cause there is nothing in this fucking world for me,
maybe i can kill myself and be free,
free from the pain that comes across me,
that's how i think i can be free,
i hope there are other people who feel my pain,
if not fuck you and have a great fucking day,
but guess what you fucks will feel this way someday,
and that's the day all you fuckers will pay.

A contest entry

if people don't like this then fuck you cause i feel this way.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 19 of 19
  • sociaL IntollErance
    January 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    LMAO. at first i thought your rhymes seemed way to generic but as i went on the sarcasm won me over good work plus i love funk. fuck fuck fuck fuck


  • Prison of Lyme
    November 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    deep

    you like the word fuck too!? I am bad at that sometimes. I have to catch myself in school, cause my old professor let us swear if it possessed meaning. HE HE!

    Good luck in the contest.

    poirsbaby


  • ProvehitoInAltum
    November 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Moneyz in fuzzy underwear! O_O

    Wow this was awsome jus what im looking for
    you have talent^^
    Great Job
    Good luck!


    • wings from god 28
      November 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      thank you

      thank you for the comment it makes me feel really good that someone likes my poetry


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    November 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I know how you feel my friend, I feel nothing I do can go right these days either. I just seem to mess up everything, no matter how hard I try. So I just give up. Lifes a mess, I lost my love and live nowhere near those I called friends. So basically life is crap for me too. If you ever want to talk about things, you can always mesasge me anytime.


  • torieshawesum
    October 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    damn!~!!! its an awesome poem and definitely a TON of anger, but you overused the curseing.... i dont mind cursin, i know it adds a point and all, but too much cursing kind of gets annoying... no offense... thx for entering though and all that other bull im supposed to say to you.


    • wings from god 28
      October 26, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      saying sorry

      sorry i didn't mean to offend you in any way hope i didn't this was my only poem that showed anger in it

      • torieshawesum
        October 26, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        you didnt offend me, its just that too much cursing sounds kind of stupid(no offense) and takes away from the poem


  • Cari Cullen
    October 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    *grin*

    Wow..to think that you will fall into abyss of demise I really like it very strong and powerful. Anger is your very pround poetry my freind keep wrtting..


  • Asylaarix
    October 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    OMG ... is this really YOUR writing ... I mean ... wow ... you really put out some anger issues on the table ... It's harsh, it's powerful ... it's FUCKING BRILLIANT ... very well done luv ... hope to see more from you ... good luck in the contests ...

    Sparkeh


  • PassionsPromise gold member
    October 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow is right on this one.
    Harsh??yes indeed this spoke out in
    loudness. Great job and best wishes.
    I believe I see gold in the future.

    Tory


  • lesbian-in-love
    October 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. Very harsh. Good poem to enter into the contest. Wow I am speechless thanks for entering and good luck to you.

  • vacant lot
    October 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    damn, that second to last line has more truth in it then any one line I've read so far. this poem is awesome... or maybe I just liked your attitude. well whatever their both great and thanks for entering.


  • warrior-eagle
    October 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I am going to write my comment based on you really feeling this way. It ISNT a bad poem,neither do I dislike it,but i don't think you shouild feel this way,i beleive that God has you here for a great purpose which as of right now you don't need dates,neither do you need worldly things,what you need is God and that's it...

    If you only wrote this for a contest great poem.If you didn't then I suggest you again place your eyes on God.

    ....Simply Me♥

1 - 19 of 19