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Another Pep Talk to Myself

Let sculpted dreams, shored up by wasted hope, crumble;
Scattered ashes of what was once a heart bleed still,
And the reality spreads through the brain like a cancer,
That she shall never be yours.

Forest fires can only aspire to this virulence.
Love is not for you, idiot, not for you,
It is a privilege the damned will never taste,
And is beyond your capacity to understand.

So flaunt your celibacy, it is all you have,
Celebrate the monk's life, a path so wise
To follow, for therein is no disappointment,
No struggle to possess, no struggle to retain.

Besides, she would have left you, too, eventually.

Author notes

Never get your hopes up too high: it'll just make the drop that much worse.

Thanks,

- El Gio
Written October 9th, 2003

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • October 22, 2003
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    hey, man, cheer up. You can only fall in love once you have learned to love your toe-cheese. once you can love your toe-cheese, you can then begin to think about loving your toes. if you can conquer your fear of self-toe-love, then maybe one day you'll think your ankles are kinda cute.
    (random)
    Um, whatever...
    So, about the poem
    I really liked it.
    Again, you made me smile. Smile for delicious consonants. My favorite line was "forest fires can only aspire to this virulence"
    (nice internal rhyme there)
    And I liked the title, I had to go find out what it was about.


  • Shibbi
    October 9, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    I cant say I see things from your point of view. You obviously have low self esteem at the moment, so that is the first place to start. you cant love someone properly unless you love yourself first. For if you love someone, you want to give them everything you can possibly give, yourself included, that means that you have to be happy with yourself. If you are happy with yourself than you know that you are giving her what she deserves, if you are not happy with yourself than when you are with her, you are worrying about what it is you may have done wrong, or what she may not like about you, and that is taking away from time you can spen thinking about what you can do with her.

    I have only come to this realisation recently, a year ago I had the same perceptions of myself that you are showing in this piece.

    Anyway, Apart from the topic, I felt this was really quite a good write. You did a really good job at conveying your point, and the piece had a really good flow, it was easy to read and the imagery you used was also quite effective.

    Keep groovin.


  • AutoPilate
    October 9, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Wait... it is grammatically correct... "reality" is singular. But I'm glad you look for things like that.

    Thanks!

    - El Gio

  • caffeinegrrl
    October 9, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    This poem portrays the feeling of disappointment well. Maybe make 'spreads' into 'spread' in the first stanza, it would fit better grammatically. But other than that I really like the imagery -- sculpted dreams, cancer, forest fire. And, there are benefits to being a monk you know Good poem!


  • October 9, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    mmm
    never get your hopes up too high~
    It'll only make the drop that much worse~~
    I disagree dear~
    Fore at times hope is all we have~
    so if your going to hope~hope big~
    Hope with all your heart~
    you never kmow~unless you try~
    then at least you can say~
    you gave it all you had~
    Never give up hope~
    Hope is like dreams~
    And you know~some times~
    Dreams do come true~
    (Better to have loved and lost~then never to have loved at all)
    A really wonderful write~
    ~Smiles~Emma

1 - 5 of 5