half of this was written in school (what?? music is boring!!) the rest of it written just now... i think this poem describes whats going on inside of me
if i was the boy and you were the girl,
would things be different,
if id lied and you'd cried,
would things be different,
if id paid more attention and given more affection,
would things be different,
if id hurt you and you'd found out,
would things be different,
so, the answer is no,
i'm cutting my wrists,
just cos u cheated on me,
I'm now a depressed E,
I'm just a depressed M,
I'm just a depressed O,
yea thats right I'm EMO,
i slit my wrists cos of you,
you hurt me,
i loved you,
but now i know,
you loved her more,
so I'm saying goodbye,
I'm not gonna cry,
no more
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
-
wow thats good u relle know how 2 touch ppl ^
-
Sentiments well expressed in these lines; easy to read and understand what you are saying here. If the I'd were changed it would read a buit better. Think though that slitting wrists are no way to make someone feel bad about leaving; instead find someone new, have a good time, and he will wonder why he left.
-
This poem was sad . I liked the form you used also.
You are a great writer , i see alot of talent here and yes bad days sometimes brings poetry to life . We all have them(bad days) even us older woman .
I will leave you with what my oldest daughter says shes 15 . Her words would be ,
"The guy sucks at life" not you !
Now smile at laugh at that for at least a second , it will make you feel better.
Silver aka (Nikki)
-
oh my that is so powerful well done
-
Understandable
I liked this poem. It was something that a lot of people could relate to, whether they want to admit it or not. It says a lot, and it makes me relive the times when this stuff has happened to me. A lot of emotion put into this poem.
-
I had to go over to print it hard for us older eyes to read it. I was curious about your title so I click on it to read it. I like to browse ap. This made me feel so very sad. This is a short time hurt. I have had many in my 40 plus years. Now as I reflect over them. I see it carried me in a better direction in life. I hope you are feeling better. Great work very nice flow. It had very deep feeling of hurt.
-
shit
dood.
no
if you're serious about this- you fail at life FUCKING EMO KID- kill yourself
if it's a joke- yay you made me laugh out loud -
I didn't like the poem ( I can relate to message alright) so I will simply give advice, non-poetry related. Don't cry over someone who won't cry over you. ^^
-
i really like it
it was xacly the way i feel sometimes -
Alot pf emotions
very great way to express your emotions!! This was a sad but wonderful poem!! You did a great and wonderful job with this piece!!! I really hope that it will make you stronger!!! Have a great day!! Keep up the great work!
-
Hm, great way of expressing your emotion, this poem is very sad, and very dramatic, i do hope that you not really going through all that drama, but if you do, stuff like that will make you stronger and a better person, another to grow we most experience, things that are easy for the soul or the heart to deal with, but tomorrow that will help you, so it doesn't matter how bad thing look, try to find something positive out of it, because their is something positive about that experience.
Great write.
-
i really like this...great work
-
The same exact thing happened to me a few years ago...This guy and I dated for about a year, and he cheated on me twice.
Funny how you can love someone with your whole heart, and they don't always appreciate it or care.
Hm...the only critique I can give is that
"I'm not going to cry,
no more"
No, unless you were using it for some kind of artistic reason...lol(Now that I look back, maybe it was emphasis on the line "so, the answer is no"?), should be any.
And it is so much easier to take a poem seriously when there are capital letters and the words aren't shortened like "u" and "cos"
This is beautiful, and the pain behind it is real and relatable.
Nice job!
-
wonderful
hey that was jus wonderful i hope ur not the one who went through this
cuz i know how it feels like when u get hurt
-
This is a very good poem.
-
Wow, this is so deep and powerful...I'm not emo, but I liked this piece anyway. And hun, no guy is EVER worth hurting yourself for. P.S- the beginning was my favorite part! I also liked the depressed E M O thing.
-
Really good. Im not emo, but Ive been called one, and if this is the description of emo, then I am. I found out a couple of days agon my boyfriends was cheating on me with a boy. I didnt even know he was bi/ gay.
-
Oh This is so sad
For anyone to think that without another life is not worth living is so very sad .For you see the heart does mend and new love more worthy of you always comes along and to end your life because of one is so wrong .
It never hurts the one who walked away for they have already found another .So the only one you hurt is yourself . If you want to hurt the one who left you then do it by finding happiness through others and never look back . So many young peple today think they have love from another when in truth it was just a time of learning .Never stop learning and know their is that one who will know how to love back never take your life and miss out on the love worth loving that returns love back .
-
Wow theres some serious angst in there mate! Well captured, a little direct perhaps. Good to see you are throwing the energy into the writing and not the extremities...its a long life and the hurts are as precious as the joys...keep on writing, well done
-
i like this alot
relationships sux ive had tha same shit happen to me its not fun but u will get over it. it mite take a while but u will -
wonderful...thats the truth about us emo kids in the world
-
That sounds like a horrible experience. I hope things are looking up for you. Relationships can suck sometimes and yet can be at other times so wonderful. I think you expressed yourself and showed your emotions very well through this poem.
Like AliceinPoetryLand offered I'll also help you around this site if you like. I'll definately be back reading more of your poems.
's
~Amanda~
-
Awesome poem Em/Frankie :
-
Welcome to All Poetry
Yes it certainly sounds like tyou had a bad day. I sure hope things are better for you now.
Thanks so much for sharing.
If you need any help here at AP please don't hesitate to contact myself or any other online Greeter. We are always willing to help
Gaylene
-
lol
now i think ov it i was pretty messed up in skool that day
Adding your comment:
1 - 25 of 25
