strands float
upon a water garden-
skimmed stones
bounce surfaces
apart,
fly
then sink
beneath her edge,
I soon follow.
Author notes
20
In a list
A contest entry
- stranded- 2 hours or so by Cat.
500 points, ended October 18, 2007, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think (Critical Honesty Appreciated)
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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and you thought mine was the better pome.
A well deserved silver.
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Still do gorgeous
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i actually see this piece as a woman floating with her ears completely submerged and the strands of her hair floating about- that ultimate distortion of sound and reality.. nicely nicely done
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I know now why it made me sad when they sank into the water. It was the absence of noise.
Silence scares me beyond words. Which is ironic in itself.
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Very sad, elegant, like a tragic heroine of the old south
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image in my mind after reading this is a beautiful water lilly floating in serene calm, and the depth of the water beneath...and treasure there. sigh.
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beautifully sad...
sigh.
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i feel like an interloper... so i shall just leave some pebbles and other hidden gems to be skimmed on the water...
this is the sound that water makes
when it's poured
down and beautimous...
damn me.. i need to lie down in a dark room like an old bottle of red wine...
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I fear water
I fear depth perhaps in some sense. I always loved skipping rocks and the way they would skim the surface..the resounding 'plop' as they went under.
But I was sad when they were gone.
I suppose maybe that diving has always meant goodbye for me.
This is lovely...keep diving. You encourage the same strength in others.
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