I wrote you a poem
A week ago,
And it was beautiful -
Imagery galore
And so filled with metaphors
And clever internal rhymes
That you'd never know
It had everything
To do with you.
Now you've left me
In a crumpled heap
On my deck,
Fall's first breaths
Whispering over my skin
And asking what's wrong...
Oh, god
You're going,
And tomorrow you'll be gone.
I want to write you a poem
Today
But all that I'm finding
Are stupid words
And ooey-gooey cliche phrases
That I didn't know
Were capable
Of coming to fruition
In this heart of mine.
I love you,
I love you,
I love you.
You are my brother
In spirit if nothing else,
My rock,
My heartbeat,
My teacher,
And my source of
Unending amusement and delight.
If this were some romance
Gone down the wrong path,
I think it
Would be easier.
As it is, this source
Of sobbing
Mixed with a
Great many tears
Is simply life,
And the universe,
And the different untraveled paths
We trod.
Yours hit a detour,
And it's leading you away,
'Round the mountains
From whence she came.
Author notes
This isn't good, and I can't say I really care - everything exploded about 20 minutes ago, and I have no clue what I'm going to do.
A contest entry
- I WANT REAL EMOTION!!!! Cathartic writing - Open to everyone by theworldisquiethere.
650 points, ended November 8, 2007, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Friends Come and Go.... by PerfectTonight.
500 points, ended December 27, 2007, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
I loved loved loved the line "It had everything to do with you." I really liked this poem. Sometimes, our most honest, best work comes out in a 20-minute explosion of whatever we're feeling. The fact that you didn't care that your poem was full of cliche phrases, and now you make it evident that the poem is about your brother, wheras before you disquised it with metaphors and such. Really great job!
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