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to eyewitness your trinity

Oh my love

you frequently halt me while I am on my way to pilgrimage
you block me by the brushes of your thighs
the strokes of your lips
the caresses of your unclad object
though I am headstrong to evacuate you
still if you are uncompromising to make me quiescence
by the pilgrimages of your amorousness
I will endure one more night to eyewitness your trinity

Oh my love...

Author notes

option..No.1.

write about your interpretation of OUR personal connection...

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments


  • ellipsist
    October 21, 2007
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    please do not rate or reply to this comment

    incredible and most interesting, indeed... a definite sensuality to this piece... seems be describing a kind of love/hate relationship and DESPERATELY makes me want to know who the author is!

    have I said interesting, already? I am enthralled and my curiosity piqued! thank you for sharing this entry in my contest!

  • WeAreMany
    October 18, 2007

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    I get the feeling that you want to make the connection last here, but the line, "I will endure one more night", kind of makes it seems as if you really can't stand the person, evidenced by the word-'endure'. Sorry if this is negative, but I got a bit confused by the language you used. The words 'relish one more night, or 'await longingly' one more night might give the desired effect. You can probably use a lot of other words, these are only the one's that came to my mind. I think it's a good poem, just needs a little adjusting in the particulars. Regards, WAM

  • ashjoe76
    October 17, 2007

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    Unique

    It's a unique take on the prompt. Mystic beauty...and love it for the same reason. Congrats, and best of luck!