Somewhere in the waters,
I see a blurred face.
An image of death? a reflection of me?
A symbol of the pain that I feel?
Is it a face?
Or is it a sign?
To stop now, get out, and run?
Is it a symbol of what’s in my soul?
A mangled ugly mess?
Then I look closer,
See what form it takes.
Clusters of tadpoles stare back,
As I realise that it is never as bad as they seem.
A flickering beauty it might turn out to be.
A contest entry
- If I Never Knew You - For New to me poets by CarolDesjarlais.
900 points, ended October 16, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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this is an interesting take on the picture. I wonder what would happen if there was not so much punctuation. I have a sense you are very conscious of it.
Try rearranging you words so you do not use one word or combinations too often....
try something like this?
In waters,
a blurred face.
death’s reflection
pained face
sign;
to stop, get out, run
symbol of soul
mangled?
A closer examination;
form tadpole
clusters staring back.
A flickering beauty it might turn out to be.
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