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The Aliens of America

They come from places we don't know how to say.
They come to escape their proverty or the hate.
They want to have a new chance in this world
of strange languages and hopeful ideals.
Some are welcome with open arms,
while others are shunn from narrowed closed doors.
There are ones who come with long amounts of paper work

and then there are others who hop the fence.

In all we need to give these people a chance,

the aliens of America.

Author notes

I used alien as a term for immagration. I feel that all should be welcome as long as they go through the paper work to be legal because really that only fair.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments


  • IrishYndina
    October 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Agh, that red background hurts my eyes. Lol. This is a great political piece - it states your views succinctly and clearly, and I admire that. I'm not sure you need the "the" before hate in line one...and I think you mean "shunned" in line five...and maybe "large amounts of paperwork"? Usually we don't say long paperwork lol. Great bold piece, though. Good luck in the contest!


  • zillion
    October 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "lanuages"

    You need another g in there. You might want to use spell check. Anyhow, quite a contraversial topic. I know many people have different views on immigrants; though mine is similar to your own.


  • horsecowgirl
    October 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    well i agree with your author's notes but not the ending of the poem. i don't think illegals should be given a chance if no paperwork. but that's a different arguement! now, back to your piece. i really like your idea for the word "alien" its unique! also i like the little details in your poem like "narrowed closed doors" you didnt just use narrowed OR closed you used both. that will win some points in my opinion. I saw one little error and that was that in line 7 "amount" should be "amounts" just a different tense. it will make it flow better and be easier to read. Best wishes in the contest!! Keep up the fabulous writing!!
    ~horsecowgirl~